Desire of Love | Soap x Fem reader

8

Ghost walked further in to the room greeting his best friend. Their conversation fading away and memories of Johnny almost kissing y/n his hot breath crashing against her lips, lips that are normally covered, skin that she hasnt shown anyone in a few years. Questions shooting in her head unsure about the whole situation, was she getting weak? She couldn't allow herself to lose focus, especially not since she still had to prove herself in this new environment. 

"I'll go and train, see you guys later" She stood up awkwardly now having four eyes laying on her as she walked out of the room, not waiting for either one of them to respond. She knew that she liked Johnny, but she doesnt know how far these feelings go. She had it in her past that she would commit to people too soon, not having the right communication nor the time to start a conversation like that with johnny. It was getting complicated, and she didn't like it. 

After returning to her room, reaper grabbed her training clothes got changed quickly before heading towards the gym area, a clear head is all she needed. 

Reaper trained for a while mainly focusing on getting her head straight. She got disturbed as she felt someone hover over her, she didnt even need to look up before she knew that it was Mactavish. "Johnny... How can I help you?" Reaper's eyes finding the soothing blue of his. 

"Can we talk ? maybe go for a little walk outside" He looked at her, his facial expression unreadable. A nod followed his words and both stood up walking outside minutes later, she kept up with his walking speed. 

"about earlier" He took a deep breath in, eyes looking ahead of him. "I dont know what came into my head, I like you but I dont think it was appropriate of me to try and kiss you." Her eyes found his ,raising an eyebrow under the mask. "Not like I dont want to kiss you. But I mean it was not appropriate of me to do it so soon, it made the whole situation awkward" He saw the way she looked at him. "I did not intend to come over as mean or say something that could hurt you but i dont know how to find the right words." He came to an abrupt stop. 

" I agree with you" She said also stopping, finding his eyes again. "you do?" His facial expression shocked. "Yes I do Johnny, I like you, but I feel like what we have is a distraction to our work, I am new here still in the process of proofing my abilities and the lieutenant finding us almost making out in the rec room definitely isnt the best way to prove what I am capable of." She spoke her words clear but her voice soft. Johnny was quiet for a few more seconds thinking about what to respond. "You like me?" He asked. "is that all you picked up from what I said? Yes I do like you but I dont think my feelings are deeper than us just being friends Johnny" He nodded. "I respect that y/n, thank you for letting me know". A smile creeped up on his face the expression in his eyes mixed, a small pit of sadness shining in them. "I have a meeting with price in two minutes maybe I should head back, I dont want to be late" He turned around and started walking back to the building her eyes following his movements. 

She doesnt know what just happened, she tried to be clear and open with him but somehow managed to... hurt him? 

Soap walked back walking past Price's office heading to his room. He tried making clear how he felt, telling her how much he liked her but got put into the friend zone without having to exchange a word in the process, his feet bought him past his room heading for Ghost's instead, He knocked three times before the door opened revealing the masked man. "may I come in? I need advice from a friend and not a lieutenant this time" Ghost walked to the side giving Johnny enough space to walk into the room. 

"What happened johnny?" The Brit asked leaning against a wall after closing the door. "I just went outside with y/n I tried to tell her what I felt and that I like her, trying to apologize for trying to kiss her but what I got in return was the friend zone and a lecture on it not being good for her being found by the lieutenant in the rec room almost making out with someone else while she is new." Johnny started. 

"Fucking hell Johnny" Ghost shook his head. "you're not in love, you have barely known her.  And yes it is indeed not very professional to get caught making out with someone especially while you're new." Ghost said down on his bed, Soap now being the one leaning against the wall.

"you can't talk about being in love with someone without seeing what they look like." an annoyed tone escaping Johnny. "Ghost I dont have to know what someone looks like before being able to like them"

"no you don't but if you knew what she looked like under that masked, her revealing the most intimate part of herself to you is when you know that she likes you back, trusts you fully. You shouldnt make a foul out of yourself before gaining that amount of trust from her" The room was quiet. "What am I supposed to do now?" 

"If you really like her Soap, get to know her. Let her get to know more about you and make sure I dont have to witness something like that in the rec room from earlier again." Ghost felt bad, in their field of work it's not common almost impossible finding someone that you would commit to, it can be dangerous. Ghost only saw it as a distraction getting too attached to someone. But he was not Soap. He couldn't give him advice based on his preferences he knew that Soap is someone that needs a person to help him take his mind off of things, no matter how fucked up someone is and how deep their head is caught in this field. Everyone needs a partner to talk to.

"it's getting late Soap, get some sleep and make sure you rest well" Ghost stood up patting his friend on the shoulder. 

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word count: 1093

it's 1.27 am and this chapter did not come out as planned. I was a bit rocked out of my thoughts as I read the most jaw dropping chapter ever. Deception by expiredreading is my favorite Soap ff so far, can't change my mind in a thousand years. I am also not to sure at what point I should have them communicate after this, but I got some ideas for future chapters. :)