𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 Ӝ ᴡᴇɴᴄʟᴀɪʀ ᴏɴᴇsʜᴏᴛs

Vent

(A/N: this is just a vent in the form of the characters because it's just easy to express it it🤷🏼‍♂️ you don't have to read this chapter because its just a vent about my life and how I've been feeling
TW:
SH
Suicide attempt
Suicidal thoughts)

Wednesday's POV:
Time: 12:34AM

I was laying in my bed with a notebook and a pen. I was up writing a new part to my story well Enid lay asleep in her bed. Thing was by the bottom of my bed doing whatever he desired. I had a headphone in one ear as I tried to use my phone to watch something. Enid said that watching things or listening to music well doing things might help, so I clicked on YouTube. I only ever used my phone to talk to Enid over any breaks from school we had so I found it rather confusing trying to navigate my way through the phone.

Enid always watched this one girl, LaurenZside? She forced me to watch her a couple times. I searched up this person on YouTube and clicked on the channel. 'Does she have anything other then cute games, sims, and all that?' I swiped through all her videos before I pressed on her "playlists" that's when I came across her playing horror games. I pressed on the playlist hitting the button that was supposed to play the videos.

I wrote for a while watching the lady scream in fear every now and then, it was rather pleasing to hear. I tried to write as much as I could before my eyes felt heavy. I couldn't pay attention to my writing with how heavy my eyes were so I closed the notebook and put it along with the pen down on my night stand. I grabbed the phone and put my other headphone in sliding down my bed under the covers.

I lay on my side watching the women play horror hames, she was playing some game about "the mimic" I knew a mimic was an urban legend so I thought it would be nice to watch.

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Time: 6AM

I woke up, my headphones still in my ears. I groaned and turned to my back taking my headphones out. "Morning Wen!" Enid said happily from her side of the dorm. I ignored her and walked to the bathroom, closing and locking the door. I fixed my hair, brushed my teeth, and splashed water in my face.

I rubbed my eyes trying to get the tiredness to go away. 'For fucks sake.' I was absolutely exhausted but I turned around and unlocked the door. As I walked out Enid stared at me. "You okay Wen?" She asked. I just nodded and went to my closet to pick out something to wear. "We don't need uniforms today!!" She called. I wanted to be comfortable today.

I was unsure about the top, I looked down at my arms. Scars still all up my arms, though they weren't super noticeable they were scabbed over in some places. I just sighed and walked out. "You ready to go Wen!!" Enid bounced around. "Sure." I said quietly as we walked out of dorm.

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Some time after class, in the dorm.
7:30pm

I sat on my bed, today was shit. I got hit, made fun of and yelled at today. Normally none of this would affect me, normally I would fight back but I'm so tired. I don't want to continue going through this. Maybe if I just killed myself everything would be fine. The only person who even talks to me on a normal basis is Enid. My other 'friends' hit me, and make fun of me.

I got up off my bed and walked to the bathroom. I can't do this anymore. 'I hate everything. Why does this have to happen to me? Why am I like this.' I shut and locked the door of the bathroom and locked it. As soon as the door was shut I went to the drawer, looking for the x-acto knife. Again.

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I kept my arms close to my body no matter how bad it stung. I quickly walked over to my closet and grabbed a hoodie, slipping it over my head. Once I was done I went back to my bed and put my headphones in again. I immediately went to YouTube again and turned LaurenZside on again.

I watched her for hours, ignoring my roommate the entire time staying turned to my side my back facing her side of the dorm. It was now 12 am and I was wide awake, again. 'I just wanna give up. I'm so tired or trying in this pathetic world.' I turned around to make sure Enid was asleep. When I found she was I got up out of my bed and walked to the bathroom.

The mirror in the bathroom could be opened to an assortment of medication, and other pills. There was pills for Enid's ADHD, my depression, and some other things. I grabbed a bottle of pills, taking the lid off. I dumped a bunch into my hand and set the bottle down. I closed the pills in my hand and walked out of the bathroom to grab a cup. When I walked back into the bathroom I filled the cup with water.

I dumped the pills into my mouth and downed the water. Swallowing every last pill. I coughed, the taste was terrible. I filled the cup up again and dumped the rest of the pills into my mouth. I chugged down the water swallowing the rest of the pills. I walked out of the bathroom, my head pounding. I glanced over at Enid and felt, guilty? I turned back to my side and walked to my bed. I slipped into my bed and got under the covers.

Closing my eyes I lay there hoping for my end to come. And soon, my conscious slipped away. Everything I worked hard for, all the days of suffering, of watching others suffer, all the good days, and bad days, gone.

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I woke the next morning, a headache pounding at my head and the feeling of nausea creeping throughout my body. The second I fully gained conscious and realized I was still in my bed, that I was still alive, hot tears dwelled in my eyes. 'No, no, no, no! Why?! Why can't I just fucking die?? Why won't anything work!' I sat up in my bed tears falling slowly. I couldn't stop them, I didn't wanna be here anymore. Nothing I did would end my life and it wasn't fair. I just sat there tears pouring from my eyes.

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(A/N: sorry for this vent I'm just not doing the best rn and had no other way to express these things. Scars pt 2 will be out soon)