Traumatized

Penance

A/N:

Alright everyone, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. So after a lot of time I decided to do a One-Shot of everything Jirou went through after Midoriya died. I honestly could have turned this into a whole different story, but I don't have the time for that at the moment. Anyways I hope you all enjoy this special gift and stick it out to the end because I have a few more things to say.

Watching the sunset from the top of a building has become a habit of mine over the past few years. Seeing everything enveloped with an orange hue usually was something everyone considered beautiful, but that wasn't the case today. Today, the sunset was the sign of the end of an era. Clouds of smoke filled the skies as it rose from the streets and buildings, while screams and sirens filled the air like a horrifying melody. Even though I knew this would happen, I was still amazed at the power that man had. It only took a few short hours for him to completely turn Japan into a chaotic nightmare, and I was the linchpin that caused all of this.

It had been three years since I first met and joined up with Dabi. It was hard to believe that a single spur of the moment decision sent me down this path. After we left the gravesite, he introduced me to a broker that would be able to help me out. At first, the man could only laugh, I couldn't blame him though, I knew how crazy it looked. A man covered in burns brings a middle school girl who wants to get revenge on the person who killed her friend. It sounded like a bad joke, and he genuinely thought it was, that was until Dabi ignited a flame in his palm. The broker quickly straightened up and took it seriously, that being said, he needed some proof of my actions first.

It started out with me helping Dabi with small jobs, mainly just meeting up for handoffs. Even if it wasn't the most dangerous thing in the world, it still wasn't safe and it definitely wasn't legal. After a month of small jobs, I was given a test: I had to kill someone to show my resolve. The broker had captured one of his clients who tried to backstab him to be my victim. My hands wouldn't stop shaking as I held the knife in my hand. The two of them kept motivating me to kill him, while he shook his head and tried to plead through the gag in his mouth.

Everything turned black, and the next thing I knew, the knife was through the front of his throat. He tried to gasp for air and sent splatters of blood everywhere. When the realization of what I had just done hit me, I collapsed and vomited everywhere. I had just killed a man and his blood was literally on my hands, I didn't know what to do. Before panic fully set in, Dabi put hand on my head and smiled, he torched the body leaving nothing but ashes. The only thing left of the man I had killed, was the blood on my hands and floor. That night I cried in the shower, trying to wash away the blood from my hands. No matter what I did, they still looked dirty.

After my first kill, I didn't leave my room for a few days. I told my parents that I felt sick, but refused any form of medicine. It was obvious they didn't believe me, but ever since Izuku died, they gave me space when I needed it.

While I locked myself in my room, all I could do was think about what I had done. The feeling of the blade piercing his neck. The sounds of his muffled screams and blood pooling on the ground. The look of terror in his eyes, right before he went limp. Every little thing was etched into my memory, on repeat.

At first, I thought I might snap from the guilt, but right when I thought I reached the breaking point, the guilt changed to thrill. The way I looked at the event entirely changed, I had ended a man's life in a matter of seconds. The fact that I could do something like that gave me a sense of power. I was, in no sense of the word, on a power trip, but I felt stronger. Knowing that I had already killed one person made the goal of avenging the person that killed Izuku, a reality. It felt right. It felt good.

When I finally left my room, I went on as if nothing had happened. My parents didn't ask too many questions and my friends from school just accepted that I had been sick. Dabi and the brooker weren't surprised when I reached out to them, apparently they figured I'd need some time after that night to come to terms with the situation. They knew I had passed the point of no return, I had no choice but to follow through now.