Traumatized

Authors Thoughts

Alright everyone Traumatized is officially over, it was a long journey but I'm proud to say it's done. I'm sure you all have your own thoughts on how it was and I look forward to reading the comments. But with this I'd like to explain my thoughts and things I enjoyed about the story. I hope you all enjoy a little dive into my mind.

So first the inspiration for this story actually came from a song. One day I was driving home from work and listening to Lofi and the song Snowman by WYS came on. (Honestly it's one of if not my favorite Lofi songs) I don't know why but a few scenes came to mind and I thought that could work for a fic. For those of you curious, those scenes actually made it into the story, even if they were exactly the same as originally planned. The first scene was Izuku's breakdown in chapter 18 when he decided to go with Aizawa and the other Izuku and Kyoka at the end of chapter 56.

The choice of writing in split perspectives was something I both loved and hated. There were so many times where I wished I had just done a third person perspective with some scenes but I didn't want to jump around too much. I actually got my inspiration for this from a book I read I'm middle school called Flipped. I couldn't even begin to tell you what it was about, but I remember each chapter was told twice, one from the boys perspective and the other from the girls perspective. I remember it being fascinating to me and I thought it would be cool to do for this story; however I didn't want to write each chapter twice since I felt it would be too repetitive.

As far as actual story plot points go this story changed vastly from its original concept. I had originally planned for Kyoka to find Izuku on the roof one night drinking while at UA. He'd end up telling her most of his past because of plot reasons and then we'd get a flashback of everything. That obviously quickly changed to what it is now since I felt I could make it work better.

Another big change was that Momo was never intended to be as big as she was. That happened spur of the moment when I was writing the quirk assessment parts. The back and forth between her and Izuku flowed so naturally that I decided to give her more time. Also Simi was supposed to have a much bigger role. I know she had her big moments toward the end, but I had originally planned for her and Izuku to be dating while at UA. It was going to be cliche as hell. Kyoka was going to go on a date with Kaminari, partially out of anger and partially to make Izuku jealous, but it would backfire when Izuku sees Kaminari kiss her. Izuku would then go to Simi and they'd start dating. I really liked that idea, but I felt that I couldn't resolve their relationship in a way that felt real, so instead I opted for the friend that is crushing on him route.

Oh fun fact, the whole pep talk/chewing out that Alas gave Izuku was originally supposed to be done by Bakugo. I wanted that to be the "redemption" for him that would bridge their friendship.

I know I had a lot of girls that were interested in Izuku in this fic and some people probably found that really annoying. Well yeah I honestly get that. I even poked fun at it when the girls were asking Kyoka about how her and Izuku met, but come on with everything he went through the boy deserves some happiness.

Alright so I'm about to say something that may get me kicked out of a certain discord, but I have to say it. I couldn't not include small Izuku and Ochako moments. I fucking love their relationship and it is my ship I hope for most in canon MHA. I know that may be blasphemous to say, especially since this is an IzuxJirou fic, but my heart just loves the two of them.

Honestly writing scenes between the two of them reminded me of the first fic I ever attempted writing and made me want to go back to it, but that won't happen till after the IzuxKendo fic I promised you. Also just to let you all know that fic probably won't start till the beginning of next year. I want to take some time to relax and actually get solid plot points down before I start writing it. I apologize to those who were hoping it would start in like a couple weeks.

So I saw a few comments across the platforms saying things like it sounds like this was written from experience. Well that's because it partially was. I have had to fight my demons since middle school and now am doing well for the most part, but that doesn't mean bad days don't happen. So a few scenes were pulled from things I have actually felt in my life, that's why a few may have felt real.

Alright, I guess I should actually address the ending since I'm guessing that a lot of you are pissed off, confused, depressed, or probably a mixture of all three.

Izuku dying and everything being Kyoka's dream was actually the original ending I had planned. It wasn't some Shyamalanian twist I came up with at the last second. If you go back and read the story again I had actually been hinting at it for a while. There were countless occasions where Kyoka said things along the lines of "it was too good to be true" or "it felt like a dream". I also purposely made things resolve smoothly for some situations or had people accept things as if it was normal just to help cement that this was a dream. I'm confident that if you reread the story knowing this a lot more will make sense and it wasn't just for plot convenience... I mean it was, but a good plot convenience not lazy writing plot convenience.

I stated in one of my authors notes that I was deciding between two endings. Well it's obvious which one I chose, but the other one was happy. Instead of Kyoka and Izuku reminiscing, it was going to be Izuku telling Dabi everything that had happened since he got locked up. Then ending with him kissing Kyoka and her pregnant stomach. But yeah that didn't make the cut, I wanted to fully commit to the name Traumatized. I hope I was able to pull it off and not just ruin the story.

Oh something else if I had been able to stick with my original timeline for posting I was going to post the last chapter on April 1st.

Yeah I know imagine getting that then me not giving my thoughts for a couple weeks just letting you all wonder was that real or an April fools joke chapter. If only I didn't get lazy and have no motivation for those few months.

I know that some people might be confused on why we were still able to see Izuku's perspective if it was Kyoka's dream. Well the reason is fairly simple. I've actually had a few dreams where I see things from other people's perspective so I decided to go with it. Also if the story was just from her perspective the ending would have been way too obvious. As I said earlier I had two different ending I was deciding between and I felt the story wouldn't have made enough sense if it was only from Kyoka's point of view.

I also would like to clarify something, the doctor that took care of Izuku in the hospital was obviously All for One's doctor. Also yes, Kyoka was gifted Izuku's quirk at the end by All for One. The quirk itself felt like something he'd enjoy very much. I mean who else could see him using it on All Might constantly during the Kamino or on Shigaraki to brainwash him.

As for Kyoka's final thoughts, I'm sure a lot of you want to know what it meant. Well who's to say what she meant by that. I want to leave it all up to your interpretations, because that's the beauty of literature.

Alright I think about time I wrap this up, because I could ramble on forever. Once again I truly appreciate all of you who have stuck with my story till the end. It truly means a lot that so many of you have enjoyed my first completed story. Everyday during the writing process I would check the comments to see everyone's thoughts and it gave me motivation. I hope you all will give my next story a chance when it drops. Stay safe until then and thank you.