Stonathan ❤️

54

NOT MINE!!

all credits go to lavenderlow on ao3

A/N: These are some notes the writer gave!

PLEASE HEED THE ARCHIVE WARNINGS!

TW: implied/acted suicide! please stay safe, babes!

also i felt like writing angst. don't worry, chapter 3 of thanks sorry sure is in the works! i just needed a break from writing that and i decided to write this
the name and the lyrics from the summary are from the song "Oh My" by McCafferty <3

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Jonathan walked the halls of the school with a heavy weight on his shoulders.

He watched as kids passed by him, their shoes stomping hard of the tiled floor, and he could feel each thud through his feet and through his body. It felt like he was wading through quicksand, and the halls weren't really there- it was a quiet, dark tunnel, a light at the end. He didn't know what the light symbolized, but he knew that he was supposed to walk to it, right?

Jonathan slowly continued to walk through the halls, an unexplainable feeling going through his body. He couldn't feel his legs, he was so nervous, so on edge, his stomach felt like it was plagued with the worst case of butterflies, and his arms felt like jelly as they trailed along him, holding his school bags. It felt like today was not real. Today couldn't have been real, everything that had happened was like something of a nightmare- and he wanted to wake up so, so bad.

The moment he woke up, he knew it would be a bad day. His boyfriend, Steve, had almost completely ignored him the day before, and had no idea why they made eye contact in the lunchroom as Jonathan sat alone at their usual table and Steve was sitting with Nancy and Barb, halfway across the lunchroom. From that moment, Jonathan was pissed the rest of the day, and even when Steve did try to approach him at the end of the day, he pushed him away. And if Steve had really cared, he would have continue to pursue him, like he usually did. But he didn't. He walked away. He could hear him say to Jonathan as he walked away if he could have his hoodie back.

Yeah, he could have his fucking hoodie back.

So when Jonathan woke up, he had tears flowing down his face. That night, he had dreamed of Steve, in his room. He was standing by window with a horrible look on his face, looking down at Jonathan like he was scum. "I wish I never met you," He said, Jonathan feeling the tears run down his cheeks in rapid streams. "You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me." He listened in his dreamscape as Steve continued to talk down to him, tell him how terrible he was, how he was a bad boyfriend, how he never did anything for him. When Jonathan woke up, he felt the same tears from his dream, but this time he knew they were real. He wiped them away, not wanting to believe the truth. It was safe to say he would be in a bad mood today. He was dreading the day before him, he knew what was going to happen, he knew exactly the turn of events that would take place. Jonathan would finish the day off crying in his bed, just like how he had woke up, and Jonathan wasn't ready, not one bit.

Jonathan didn't talk to anyone that morning. His head was fogged over, and he didn't know what to do. He was pissed off at Steve, and when he saw him before first block in the courtyard, he didn't smile at him. He just walked up to him as he was talking to some random girls, shoved his hoodie in his hands and walked away. He walked away without a second thought, no exchange of words, nothing. Maybe it wasn't a good idea, maybe it was, maybe he was showing Steve that he could be assertive sometimes. Jonathan has been angry at Steve before, but usually Steve tried to calm him down, or apologize, even if he didn't do anything, just to make Jonathan feel better.