Stonathan ❤️

79

NOT MINE!!

all credits go to thoroughbreds on ao3

In the short amount of time it takes from dropping Will off to pulling up at Tina's house, Jonathan considers backing out and going home about one hundred different times.

Parties aren't his scene. It's not just because Jonathan hates the music that plays at them, and because he doesn't like being squished into a living room with a bunch of other sweaty teenagers, and because drunk people always make him think of his dad. It's because they serve as yet another reminder that Jonathan doesn't belong, has never belonged, and will never belong. That he's always going to be on the outside looking in.

Even as a child, when it was pretty much an obligation to invite all your classmates to your house for cake and games, he was always aware of how unwanted his presence was. The kids would ignore him at best and actively make fun of him as a game at worst, he could always tell that the parents were gossiping about him and his mother in the kitchen, and they could never afford good enough gifts to give to the birthday boy or girl.

It was almost a relief when he hit middle school and people stopped inviting him to things. The loneliness hurt, but Jonathan preferred it over the humiliation and mockery that he was sure to experience, should he dare to ever attend one of Carol's end of summer blowouts, or any get-togethers that Steve hosted prior to the events of last year.

And if he's honest with himself, it isn't just Nancy that Jonathan wants to see. She was definitely his priority, because he still thought about her every day, even if he could count the conversations they'd had since Will came home on one hand. He wanted to see her, and talk to her, and maybe even dance with her - an act he'd usually be opposed to, but he'd make an exception for Nancy.

But a small part of him also wants to see Steve. He doesn't know why, given that the two of them haven't spoken since that night. They don't hate each other anymore, but Nancy had seemed unwilling to act as a middleman and Jonathan had been too busy with his family to try and figure out where he and his former bully now stood. It seemed pointless to pursue, and as long as Jonathan was no longer getting called a pervert and being laughed at by the King of Hawkins High and his little posse, he didn't see why he should care about Steve.

Except he did. Jonathan knew it would be easier to go back to not caring about Steve, like he did back before everything. It seemed like Steve had gone back to not caring about him, after all. But Jonathan had never found it easy to hate, and he knew that he owed Steve his life. Steve saved him that night, because Steve had shown up with the intention to apologise, and was unwillingly dragged into everything.

Jonathan can't forget that.

There's still uncertainty bubbling within him, but Jonathan manages to convince himself enough to get out of the car and make his way through groups of drunken teenagers to Tina's house. He'll go in, see if he can find Steve and Nancy, stick around if they want him there, and maybe the three of them can finally move past the awkwardness of the past year. Jonathan has never been good at friendships, but he thinks that these two might be his best option, and he knows he can't avoid them forever.

Besides, they're the only ones who have even the slightest idea of what he's been through, and it would be nice to be with people who understand.

As expected, the music playing is bad and everyone's too drunk and sweaty for his liking, but he reminds himself that he came here with a purpose. Tina seems to be less exclusive with her guest list than her friends usually are, and Jonathan's relieved that the first classmate he runs into is a girl he shared art class with freshman year, instead of someone like Tommy H. She tells him that her name is Samantha, and he instantly likes her, even if she seems unimpressed with his joke about dressing up as a guy who hates parties (and really, even if he had always intended to come to this thing, Jonathan wouldn't have dressed up and risked embarrassment anyway).