Emerald Sparks

7

"Hey," Lauren smiled, returning to me after her flirting fest with Justin.

I gave her a small smile, not really in the mood to move any more muscles.

"Do we still have to go back there?" She asked, pointing to the door to gym.

"If you want," I replied plainly. "I'm going back with the group."

"You won't join me in there?" She questioned, almost disappointedly. But why should she be? That would be a fucking joke.

"Justin's there anyway," I responded bitterly, still avoiding myself from exploding all my irritations. "You won't need me."

I turned my heels and walked briskly to the cafeteria, not looking back to Lauren and leaving her completely. That's not far from what she did to me earlier though. She let me walk alone behind and watch them giggle flirtatiously together. I feel like my blood boiling and I seriously want to punch everybody in the face real hard.

***

I spent that whole night thinking about the previous events, playing them all again in my head although I know I shouldn't. I avoided Lauren all day. I took different routes where I know I won't bump into her. Camila noticed me being quiet and she asked me about it but I refused to explain because I might abruptly land my fist on her face.

I isolated myself from everybody that day.

I do like Lauren but is it necessary for me to feel like this? Like absolutely... jealous? I never felt this before. The pit in your stomach and you wanted to hit the face of the person who is getting near Lauren, these are all new. I shouldn't be jealous for I don't have a right to be for Lauren and I are not even a thing. I just like her but I can't be jealous. Or maybe I can because I'm obviously feeling it now.

Let's be realistic here, Justin's got more chance for Lauren than I have. As much as I don't want to admit it, Justin is attractive and a gorgeous man and Lauren positively likes him. She wouldn't giggle and blush like that otherwise. Maybe fate just really wanted me to be a friend for Lauren, nothing more, nothing less. But how can you even unlike someone? Is that even possible? Once you've fallen for someone, it's hard going back that you will have to do so much work.

And I don't want to restart.

I'm fine with liking Lauren and catch feelings around even if she can't notice me; even if someone has her heart. I am passionate about everything and I hate going back to the start. Giving up has never been in my dictionary; it will never be. If I have fallen for Lauren, I'll let it happen even if I have to fight my way to it. I will show Justin who's the right person for those emerald seas to see. I'm going to put a fucking fight on what I love.

Do I want to fight for Lauren? Am I insane? I am in love with Lauren? How will I even know? What does falling in love even feel? I am mad crazy. This is too soon to be happening. I just like her. I'm not into that phase yet. I'm a little bit running things too fast. Maybe this will all be gone tomorrow. I'm tired of thinking.