Emerald Sparks

18

It was days after the moment I brought Lauren to my secret place, not too far away from my house. Our relationship is sailing well without any problem and today, it's going to be the first time I'm teaching Lauren how to drive. I already asked Mike for permission and fortunately, he trusted me enough to allow me teach Lauren; he trusted me with her life.

Remembering Lauren's blog, I tried and took a look of it as I was waiting for her; sitting on the family room in front of my laptop.

I never used Tumblr and never knew how to but when I opened Lauren's blog, damn. This site is really awesome. Her blog is neat with the black background and blue highlights all along.

It's a mix of pictures of people, sunsets, the sky, quotes, couples making out or having sex, the universe and of course, women-undressed or dressed-and it's all beautiful.

Something caught my eye, though; her Personal page. I clicked it, and after a few seconds of loading, I was met by rants of my girlfriend. There are pictures of her when she was young and I can't help but smile as I see them. I saved them and went back to the rants she've posted.

"what did I do wrong...?

where is he? why is he like this...what did I do...I miss the way we used to be. He used to say he missed me when we didn't talk for a day...now, i don't even get that after a week

#confused

#hurt

#wtf?"

I know I should be leaving this in the past but it somehow breaks my heart seeing her like this. I scanned the page and saw another post, and another, and another.

"You said you would never leave me.

I believed you.

Stupid me."

"I've never felt so broken, empty, or hurt in my life...

why did this happen?"

"I hope she ends up loving you even remotely close to the amount I did

As long as youre happy..theres nothing I can do"

"Why couldn't I have been enough...?"

"AKGHAIHWGAH

Its starting up again...that feeling of complete vacancy that comes up for no reason..I overanalyse, I make up impossible scenarios in my head...I think too much. I hate being alone..and it's a really bad trait, I get it, but I can't help it...and when I'm not included I feel worthless..Like I'm only important when something's needed from me but otherwise, I'm useless...I'm there, for everything. EVERTHING. I sit and listen and I reassure them everything'll be ok but I'm not even an afterthought...I'm a background/backup friend. Always have been, always will be."

I shouldn't be reading this, I know. And the last thing I saw is something I know I should make action of.

"I need a fucking boyfriend...I'm tired of feeling lonely and unwanted all the time."

They're all from the old Lauren. They've been conquered and all gone; but seeing the girl have felt everything before, it breaks my heart because she thought she was unwanted, useless, and she is always sad. She felt incomplete without having a boyfriend. She felt alone.

She didn't deserve any of those. I should make her feel that she is loved, important and adored. She deserves all the love in the world and I hate the people who made her feel the complete opposite of it.