Emerald Sparks

27 - Epilogue

T H R E E  M O N T H S
L A T E R

"Y/n! Y/n!" I was resting on the sectional on the deck of my room when Dinah came barging in. "Y/n! Where the hell are you?"

I exhaled loudly—as if I've just worked out—and stood up from where I was, eyeing Dinah from above. She was looking around the room and I dropped behind her, causing the Polynesian to jump.

"Jesus Christ!"

"Nope, just me," I returned uninterestedly. "What do you want?"

I walked away from her, moving to my bed and lying on my back, staring at the pictures I have above my desk. Dinah started talking but I wasn't paying attention that much—my eyes were focused on the picture on the lower right corner, the first Polaroid of Lauren I placed there.

The green eyed girl who thought me what real love is. But she left—turned my life into chaos. Maybe my love wasn't enough to make her stay, because if it was, then she would've lying beside me right now, wouldn't she? Fuck. Why am I doing this to myself again? Why can't I just move on?

She's still on my mind, she never left, and I nearly hated that I loved her. Nearly. But here I am, looking at her picture again and thinking if I wasn't enough. I couldn't remove her picture. I couldn't take her off my brain. I couldn't forget about her. I can't because every time I try, it will always feel like I'm taking her away from my heart. I'm still a paradox. I don't and want to forget about everything we've had, but there's a lot of them to work with. I almost asked for Camila to take Sky but I ended up crying all night because I can't let go of something that witnessed my love for Lauren. The same reason why I didn't want to take the pictures down. I didn't delete her number on my phone, her messages to me, did not unfriend her on Facebook or unfollowed her on Twitter. Even the pictures on my Instagram—they're all still there.

"Y/n, are you even listening to me?" I was brought back by the sudden weight that hit my face. Dinah threw a pillow on me.

"No," I answered, not caring whether it'll piss her off.

When Lauren left, everyone around me told me I've changed. They said a lot of things—negative ones—like they know what's happening to me. That's the reason why I stopped caring for people's opinion or how they'll feel. They don't know anything about me yet they say things as if it would really help. Their emotions didn't matter either—I don't need anything from them.

"Come on, y/n," she spoke, her tone almost on the edge. She sat beside me but I didn't take my eyes off from the montage of candid photos. "I know you don't care about anything else but maybe this could help to distract you!"

"Who says I need distraction?" I questioned, turning my eyes on her. I saw her tense up from the cold gaze I gave.

"No one actually needs to say it," she retorted, breathing deeply. "I know you still haven't move on from her."

"You know I don't want talking about this," I replied, my voice firm from the back of my throat.

"Then how are you going to be able to move on from her if you wouldn't talk about it?"

"Did I say that I want to move on?" She turned quiet when I snapped her out, but the Polynesian seemed to know me a lot—she didn't stop, continuing the conversation as if I didn't say anything.