anti-hero// joshler

37

word count: 313

"t, are you okay?"

"yeah? why?"

"you're awfully quiet."

"people keep saying that."

"i'm sorry if me or joshua say it too much."

"no, it's fine."

i put my palms against the top of my knees.

"how are you feeling today?"

"damaged."

"why so?"

"everything. joshua. you. hunter. just damage."

"what have me or joshua done?"

"nothing. i'm damage to you, by hunter."

"what.. i don't understand?"

"there's just a lot of things wrong with me i've come to realized and i don't know why really."

"why it happened?"

"yeah. i just try to cope with it, you know? cause it's a part of me that i can't really erase no matter how much i want to constantly."

"you didn't ask to be like this."

"i know. but my coping isn't healthy."

"i know.

"and it hurts you.. and i think joshua knows now. so it probably hurts him too."

"im sorry.. i'm trying to say the right thing."

"and you two are always obsessed with saying the right thing. i don't want the right thing. i just want you to be here. i'm being raw with you. i just want that back."

"okay."

"i don't want you to be my therapist. i want you to be my friend."

"i don't try to be your therapist, t."

"no. i know."

"then why... what brought on all this?"

"hunter. he's a fucking bitch. i hate him. he has a nice mom, a nice step dad. his siblings are nice. and yet he was a fucking pervert and took away everything from me. my childhood. he ruined it. ruined me. and now i feel like i'm messed up. an anti hero. i'm broken and damaged and i shouldn't be a main character in any perspective. if someone knew inside my mind they'd think i'm fucked up..."

they stare at me, at a loss for words.

"but it's because i am. maybe they're right."

"tyler joseph. nothing is wrong with you. you're an amazing human," she wraps her arms around me. "i love you."

"i love you too."

a/n: nothing like being raw with that one person because life is shit sometimes.