anti-hero// joshler

45

word count: 259

six months later.

"ashley?"

she looks up at me. their morning hair a mess, from staring at themselves in the mirror, doing their makeup. 

"it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero."

the words sting. but they've been on my mind ever since joshua left. i am an anti-hero. i am no hero. but i.. i don't think i'm a villain. i am an in between.

not bad. but not good either.

it's demeaning. it's awful. it's horrible. but i can't run from what i am. and i'm sure they would agree.

"you're not going to heal unless you realize you're not an anti-hero. at least not to me. you're my savior. i love you t."

she didn't agree.

"you do?"

"you think i don't?"

"it's a weird feeling i've been getting since joshua left."

she sits on the bathtub edge, next to me. 

"explain?"

"it's like... i.. i thought he would be here forever. and then it wasn't working. at least i got some closure. but like.. i feel like i was ruined and now i ruin everything touch."

"you.. you're not ruined. just because you've been through awful shit. doesn't make you ruined. it makes you human. i love you to life and beyond. i'll die for you, t."

"i would die for you too."

"now get over here," they grab me and hug me. for what feels like hours.

"i love you, ashley."

"i love you t."

-

i stare out the window towards joshua's old trailer. and i miss him. and the guilt and the hurt feels like it's consuming me. like i'll never get better.

but i know, or hope i will. 

someday.

a/n: aaaaahhhhh there is literally only the epilogue left. 

the last chapter of anti hero will be posted next friday i cannot believe it.