You're Useless [Kenny McCormick x Reader]

one

waring: verbal degradation (from a parental figure).

"Kyle, you son of a fucking bitch, I told you that I didn't want to see your stupid friends!" I pulled against the grip of the redheaded boy, infuriated. Kyle Broflovski has been my best friend for years; we met during a school field trip in third grade. Of course our classes acted as any class did when two different schools see each other at field trips; unfortunately, a food fight during our lunch eventually broke out and Kyle happened to slap me straight in the face with a disgustingly soggy sandwich that brought disgrace to the "peanut butter and jelly" name. Its contents splattered all over my clothes and in my hair; my face seemed unrecognizable underneath the jelly mask I was newly wearing. But being the kind person he was, he sincerely apologized and helped me clean myself up with napkins. We became good friends that day, but being only eight years old, we couldn't really communicate with each other long distance. Luckily for us, it turned out that our parents were close enough of friends and we began hanging out-a lot.

But I didn't meet only Kyle during that trip. At that time, he was sitting with three of his friends; a really overweight kid and two emos. I hold a personal grudge against the fat kid-what was his name? Derick? Eric? I don't remember-because he began mocking me instantly. Somehow I became the fat-ass due to the fact that I was having food thrown at me, even though literally everyone in that room was being bombarded with morsels of food. I've refused to meet any of his friends because of that and Kyle has specifically seperated time between them and I so we don't cross paths. I love him. He's so sweet..

At that thought, I realized my current situation. He is NOT sweet. I forgot that he was forcing us to interact now.
"Come on, (y/n), why not? I know you and Cartman didn't really get off on the right foot, but I promise Stan and Kenny aren't like him at all. Cartman is just a dickhead, by himself. And they've been asking about you." Kyle kept pulling me towards his house, where I'm assuming all of his stupid little fucking friends were. I could see a group of boys peering out of the window from his big, green house. They were talking amongst themselves while staring at the two of us. I groaned outwardly and gave up my resistance. I guess this day had to come sooner or later. I slowly began walking with Kyle, our hands clasped together. We've always been close like that; we hold hands, hug, etcetera. I think it comforts both of us. Eventually, we made it to his front door and he dropped my hand as he opened it. I was kind of disappointed, but I don't think he wants to be embarrassed in front of his dickhead friends.

Awaiting us were three boys: the fat-ass Kyle keeps referring to as Cartman and the two emos. Though I must admit, the two are quite cute. One was wearing an orange parka, which seemed odd because it's summertime, but to each their one. He had a huge, sly grin on his face and quickly reached his hand out to me. "My name is Kenny, I've heard so much about you! I've been extremely excited to meet the super hot babe Kyle's always talking about, and may I say I'm not at all disappointed."

I kind of just stood there in shock. I had absolutely no idea how to respond to that at all so I chose to ignore his last comment and shake his hand, "Hi Kenny-all of you, I'm (y/n), but it seems as if you already know who I am." I said that last bit while shooting Kyle a playful but sharp glance. Cartman pushed Kenny aside, earning an annoyed look from Cartman's victim, and stepped in front of me, observing all of my features very intently.

"Wow," he breathed, his breath smelt like artificial cheese, "You're actually Kyle's girlfriend, I fucking thought he was lying about you."

The last emo kid, whom I assumed was Stan, butted in, "Yeah it was a bit odd that you had such a smoking hot girlfriend, who lived two towns over, that we weren't ever allowed to see. It was suspicious, dude."

Kyle's face grew red with both embarrassment and frustration. But I stepped back and spoke before he could. "Woah, what the fuck is this talk about Kyle being my boyfriend?" then I turned around to face Kyle himself, "Did you tell them that, cum-wad?" Kyle looked at me, shocked, and vigorously shook his head "no".

"No," Kenny spoke up, "he didn't, but it was funny as fuck to tease him over it. He gets so weak in the knees for you. But I'm quite happy to hear that you're still open for grabs."

"She's not a fucking object, dumbass! You can't just 'grab' her!" Kyle said, defiantly. Everybody saw this as him being jealous of me, but I really didn't feel like listening to an argument, so instead I walked up to Kenny and politely squeezed through him and Emo #2. Everybody followed me inside after that and headed up to Kyle's room. We mainly played video games all day. Occasionally Cartman and Kyle would start a scream battle, but beyond that my stay was really enjoyable. I didn't play too much; I mainly stayed in Kyle's bed while the guys sat on the floor for the few hours I was there. Suddenly the door to Kyle's bedroom opened and his mom, Sheila, stepped in.

"(Y/n?) Your mother is here for you, honey," she said politely, placing her hand over the microphone on the phone she was holding.
"Thank you, Mrs. Broflovski."
Sheila simply nodded and walked out, going back to talking on the phone.

"Sorry guys, I've got to go," I stood up, grabbing my phone. Everyone looked up at me, but Kyle had a huge frown on his face. I smiled at him, hoping to reassure him, "I hope I'll see you all again soon." And with that, I left the room and headed down the stairs. I hurried to put on my shoes, I didn't want my mother waiting for too long. She already doesn't trust me with Kyle, let alone a bunch of boys. Walking out of the house, I saw my mom's tiny blue car. I had to sit in the back seat since my mom's boyfriend, Paul, was in the passenger seat.

"You better hope to fucking god you're not pregnant, you whore," Paul started as soon as I entered the car, "I saw those boys in that window. Is that why you're here all the time? So you can get fucked?" I wasn't really taken aback by his words, this was normal Paul.

My mom began driving and I sighed quietly before replying, "No, Paul. Kyle and I are only friends. And he simply wanted to introduce me to his other friends."

He scoffed, mumbling and angry, "fucking slut," underneath his breath. I ignored his comment and unlocked my phone, noticing that I had two new messages from Kyle that read:

Kyle: I'm super glad you
finally caved and agreed
to meet them. They all
love you

Kyle: Also I'm sorry for
Cartman and Kenny.
Eric can be dick and
Kenny is pretty perverted.
Lmk if they make you
uncomfortable.

(Y/n):
no it's fine lmao kenny is
pretty funny. i still don't
like eric though

(Y/n):
it'll take a while to get
used to all of them

I shut my phone back off after hitting the send button and closed my eyes. I couldn't wait to get home and away from Paul.

It was dark by the time we arrived at home. It was about 8pm because my mom stopped at a fast food restaurant to buy her and Paul a meal. I didn't get anything though; Paul convinced my mom that I didn't deserve anything because I was, "whoring around". I wasn't really hungry anyways though, Kyle's mom made us dinner while I was over.

I stepped out of the car and ran inside, where I was greeted by my lovely dog, Maisie. She was a gray and white pitbull. She was the sweetest thing absolutely ever. I gave her a few kisses then headed towards my room to grab pajamas for a shower.

hi guys!! sorry for the short chapter, this was kind of a filler to introduce you to everyone. i hope you're ready for the twists this story will take :).