You're Useless [Kenny McCormick x Reader]

seventeen

Clyde and I have been happily together for about three months. It's March now, and it's finally the day for a special little event I've had marked on my calendar for a while.

"Why're we going through the drive thru?" Earlier today I convinced him to drive us to the party that Tammy's hosting, although I already told him that there would be food there.

"I am so insanely thirsty, I'm gonna die," he croaked, slumping into the seat.

"You're such a goof,"

We laughed to each other a bit until we got to the microphone.

"Hello, what can I get for you today?" The voice on the other side rasped out.

"Just a water please, thanks,"

"Alright, just pull up to the second window,"

Clyde did as told, after the slow ass car in front of us moved, and he finally had his water. He drank it like a man who was stranded in the desert for days on end.

"Slow down! You're going to choke yourself out!" I protested with the slightest chuckle in my voice.

He tried to mumble out a, "will not," but with all of the water in his mouth, it simply came out as glubs. And of course, that made him start choking.

"Clyde!" I shouted, pressing the cup to his mouth and patting his back, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"

He did the opposite and swallowed the water instead after he finally stopped choking. He laid there, exhaustion painted on his face. "Can we go home now?"

"No! I already promised Tammy we'd be there,"

"Alright alright," Clyde sat up and pulled out of the drive thru and started towards the location Tammy sent us. It was still in town so it wouldn't take very long.

It didn't take me very long to realize that this was a bowling alley, especially from the exasperated designs of pins and bowling balls. There were a few cars outside of the place. "Do we just go in?"

I glanced down at my phone to check her text messages:

Tammy: Just come in when
you get here! I rented the whole
place out so I'll be inside

"Yeah," I nodded, "That's what Tammy said to do,"

"Aren't both Kenny and Tammy insanely poor? How'd they manage to rent the whole place out?" Clyde mentions as we began to step out of the car.

"Be nice! I think Tolkien helped her pay for it,"

"What? Tolkien didn't tell me that!" He gasped as we walked up towards the front door of the alley. There were glowing signs all over the windows.

"Probably because Tolkien knew you'd blab,"

"Blab about what?"

I didn't answer. I didn't give him any of the details of what the party was actually for. What a gullible man.

As we walked in, Tammy and Tolkien were setting up decorations all over the bowling alley. The walls were all neon colors, with greens, blues, and oranges, which oddly matched well to the orange decorations they were placing around.

"Clyde! (Y/n), I'm glad you both could come. Kenny will be here any minute," Tolkien noticed us first as he hung up some tassels.

I waved and Clyde walked over to converse with Tolkien, who happened to be his best friend. I looked around to take note of everyone who was here: Butters Stotch, Tweek Tweak, Craig Tucker, Jimmy Valmer, Timmy Burch,  Karen and Kevin McCormick, and of course Tolkien and Tammy.