Angela Curtis

Help..Please-13

(TW- Starving, Throwing up)

[TIME SKIP BC I FEEL LIKE THIS IS GETTING BORING AND I HAVE MORE IDEAS FOR DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR!!!]

     I'm in second semester of 8th grade now and I'm in a terrible place. During summer I started hanging out with the gang more but that also made me self conscious. Whenever we went out to eat I felt my cheeks getting heavier and I felt like everyone was staring at me. But I guess the staring part comes with my anxiety. I got happier during the summer and let lose a bit at home when it came to eating too. That ended the second school started and I saw that all my friends (all of 3 people) had gotten skinner.

     But I got a boyfriend. It still feel wrong saying that...well writing that. At first I thought it was a joke like all the other boys that had asked me out as jokes but after he kept writing me love notes I know he genuinely loves me. No, the gang doesn't know about him and I'm not planning on telling them because I don't want them to do anything too rash.

     Anyways back to my eating, the longest I've gone without eating has now been 2-3 days. Or I'll eat a little bit in that amount of time. Sometimes it's because I'm not hungry but other times it's because I don't wanna seem too fat infront of my friends. I'm visually bigger but I don't think they care. Atleast they act like they don't which I adore about them. But lately, to not seem suspicious I've been eating a decent amount and if I regret it (which is most of the time) I end up throwing it up. I'm exhausted of this. I would kill to tell someone but I hate people worrying about me and plus I don't want anyone to pity me or think of me differently.

     After thinking about my current life for a bit I decide to go downstairs and hang out with the gang. When I get down there I realize that they're all out of the house so I decide to make a grilled cheese. As I was about to take a bite I started to gag. I tried again and the same thing happened. I decided to just take a bite and after that bite I felt ok so I kept eating it. Half way through the sandwich I felt guilty for eating it. Which is strange because I haven't eaten since yesterday at lunch. Before I could think the sandwich was in the garbage, and I was hunched over the toilet with 2 fingers shoved down my throat. And of course right before I could throw up and as I was gagging I heard someone come inside and I heard Darry holler," Angela I'm home!" 

     Before I could stop myself I kept gagging, really loudly may I add, and then I threw up. I knew I had been caught when I heard Darry thundering down the hall. He slammed open the door and looked at me. Now I don't cry infront of the gang especially Darry, but then, in that moment I was bawling. I felt sad, mad, and guilty for everything. Darry looked at me for a minute and then crouched down next to me. "Please don't tell me you did what I think you just did." He said. All I could do is nod. He looked down and hugged me. 

     "How long have you been doing this?" He asked.

     "Since before summer break..." I respond through tears. " I need help, I don't wanna be like this anymore" I started to cry harder. Darry sighed while hugging me for like 20 more minutes. He's a good hugger. He finally got me off of the floor and he took me to the couch.

     "We'll talk about this later, but don't do that anymore. Or alteast try, please." Darry said then he went upstairs and I fell asleep to Mickey Mouse playing in the background.

[Words: 751]

(A/N- I'm sorry that it's been a while but school just started for me so I've been trying to get back in the loop. Sorry if this starts to make less sense I published it but then realized that I forgot to add something that loops around the the chapter title so here you go! Anyways I'm sorry this is short but I hope you enjoy. Don't forget to eat plenty and stay hydrated!!!)