FUBU

vientiuno

-Sari-

I took a deep breath as I prepared myself before plunging in the huge pool in front of me.

My head covered with a swimming cap, in my eyes are the most uncomfortable goggles I've ever had and my mind focused on the clear, peaceful water.

It was a public pool but its already 8:00 PM. People have already gone and I was the only one left.

I have always preferred this time over any other. Walang istorbo, walang ibang taong makikisabay sa paglangoy ko. 

And I needed the quiet. 

I plunged right into the pool as I took an entire lane of while working on my butterflies and back strokes. 

I have always wanted to be a professional swimmer. But fate would not want to agree. Things happened that cost me my ambition. 

I had to go for whatever is practical and not what it is that I loved doing. 

But tonight wasn't the time to think of the things I haven't had the chance of pursuing. 

This is a night that's just all about him. A week ago, I learned that he has submitted his resignation. And the moment I learned about it, he was gone. He wasn't even in his condo unit anymore. 

I knew that eventually, it was going to happen. But the actual time that he left caught me off guard. 

I was left behind thinking why he'd actually leave. 

But I couldn't blame him. Who would ever stick for an emotionally unavailable woman?

I went for another round of stroke as my mind were filled with his thoughts still. 

Bakit nga ba hindi ko mapagbigyan ang sarili ko? Isn't he what I really wanted?

Iilang beses nang tumatakbo sa isip ko na kung gugustuhin ko lang, pwede ko siyang hanapin, sundan sa kung saan siya totoong nakatira at kung pwede lang, sabihin sa kanya na gusto ko siyang makasama. 

But all those thoughts went out the window the moment he left. 

Perhaps I really didn't mean that much to him. 

As I got out of the pool, I heard my phone ring. I took off my swimming cap and answered the call. 

"Hello?"

"Where are you?"

"Somewhere."

"I need you to come to the mansion now, she wants to see you."

I sighed.

"Okay."

That was just one of the many things that's making my life complicated. 

He texted a few details and some instructions for me. 

Red dress, black heels, silver mask. Wear them the moment you come here. My driver will come for you. 

 I heaved a heavy sigh and before I'd go, I leaped right into the pool and stayed at the very bottom of the pool, keeping my breath but at the same time, hoping that I would not rise back up anymore. 

Na sana, hanggang doon na lang ang lahat. People will soon find my body and will assume that I committed suicide. 

Ano pa nga ba?

But quitting was never my thing. 

Struggle is. 

Thriving is what I am living for, perhaps ever since I was born.