SIDE STAGE TECH

Chapter 30 - Final

//// this was really hard to post after the last message I posted on Friday. but here you go. and honestly if any of you are considering suicide please get help or talk me. it's never and option and there will be after affects. don't say that no one will miss you because it's completely untrue.

:.:.:.:

And there you have it. All the events leading up to this very moment.

I leave two notes for Jaime. Well one for him and one for him to bring to my mother.

Mom. I'm so so so sorry. Please stay strong. I know you can. You're the strongest woman I know. I'm not strong though. I didn't pick up on that gene. The pain of Mike's death and Vic's death is too much for me. I can't handle it anymore. Again, I'm so sorry. I love you mom. I'll miss you.

xx Tony

I know because of this you'll have 3 dead friends, and I'm sorry. I can't deal with this anymore. It feels like I don't see colour anymore. I constantly feel numb and when I don't feel numb all I feel is pain. Heart wrenching, soul crushing, pain. I tried going to the counsellor, I tried therapy, but nothing helps. The best thing to do is to end this. I'm sorry it has to end this way but I don't know what else to do. It's all I can do. You are a great friend, Jaime. Don't forget that. I want you to keep going, I want you to live a full life. I know you can. Goodbye Jaime. I hope I don't see you too soon.

xx Tony

"Why me?" I yell into the sun setting over the ocean. "Why Mike? Why Vic?" I sob angrily. "Why did Mike have to drink that night?" I say, falling to my knees on the edge of the cliff. Pain, heartbreak, sadness, and anger wash over me in unbearable waves. Like the waves under the very cliff I'm standing on. It's almost dark when I finally stop crying. "I'm sorry." I whisper, before leaping off the cliff and into the ocean far below my feet.

The impact knocks the breath out of me. My lungs scream for air but I force myself to ignore it. The undertow its pulling me out farther down into the black ocean. I open my eyes, ignoring the horrible burning sensation and let out air. Bubbles cloud my vision when I breathe out. I begin to see coloured spots in front of my vision and suddenly everything fades to black. I smile as I feel the last bit of life escape from my body.

Finally.

**next chapter**

Suddenly I'm in a clean white room. I take in my surroundings and I find that it's a morgue. Then my eyes land on the body on the table in front of me. The shaggy black hair, snakebites, I notice that one of the plugs in the boy's ear is missing. It's me. My body. "Holy shit." I whisper, walking closer. My face is is pale though, my eyes closed softly. I had done it. Suddenly someone's hand grabs mine. I jump and turn. "Tony..." Mike says sadly. "You had so much for you in life." I sighed.
"I'm sorry. I couldn't take it anymore." I whispered. Mike just wraps his arms around my waist and leans his forehead against mine. "Time to go." He whispers, pressing his lips against mine. The room around me fads away but Mike doesn't. His hands remain firmly on my hips, mine cupping his face, our lips moving in synch. When Mike pulled back I found myself in a clearing in the middle of a beautiful Forrest. I see Vic there as well, sitting in front of a pale boy with shoulder length black hair. They're smiling, their hands clasped tightly together. The other boy laughs and rests his head against Vic's shoulder before kissing Vic softly. I turn back to Mike with a questioning look. He seems to understand what I wanted to know. I guess we landed in the same heaven as Vic and Kellin." He explained. So that's who the black haired boy is. "I guess you find who you really want to see. We're not sure why Vic was paired with Kellin. I think maybe they were "meant to be together" or something but Kellin died of cancer when he was 17." Mike said, wrapping an arm around my waist. "We've become 'one with the world' Mike said. "That's why we're in a Forrest."
"Don't worry it's not purgatory." Mike says laughing. "Can you read minds now?" I ask, sitting down in the grass, pulling Mike down with me. "No, I just know you well." He says pushing me backwards and pressing his lips to my neck, nibbling gently. "W-where do we sleep?" I gasp, as his lips move over a certain sensitive spot on my skin. Mike gets off of my and points to a two story cabin. "Its bigger on the inside. Plus unlimited supplies of everything we need." He explains. I watch Kellin and Vic walk inside, leaving me and Mike alone, in the half light of the setting sun. "I'm sorry." I whisper, as Mike lays down next to me, pulling me close. "I couldn't take it anymore. After you and Vic died it was too much pain. None of the therapy and counselling I went to helped. I just had to end it." I murmur. Mike doesn't say anything, he just kisses me gently. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have gotten high that night. I'm sorry I thought it was a good idea to take so much. It's my fault you're here." He says sadly, brushing the hair out of my eyes and straightening my glasses. "No. Don't say that. I was the one who jumped." I say quietly.
"Let's not think about that. I have you in my arms. That's I care about right now." He said, scooping me up in his arms and carrying me into the warm cabin. "Here's our room." He murmurs, dropping me gently onto his bed and pulling me close to his chest so face was pressed into my neck. "I love you Tony." He whispers.
"I love you Mike." I reply.