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August......,

I want her so badly and I didn't get Maya pregnant on purpose. I just want to kill myself. My life really shouldn't be this way.

I could've just had children with Chanel only and her with me. That's it. My two boys and my Baby girl Nell. Life is so fucking complicated.

And I bet Amaya's baby isn't even mine. Cause she was fucking around with some Nigga named Dwayne. I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore.

I called Chanel's phone. She answered the phone with a whole lot of noise in the background.

"Cam get your sister for me baby."

I could hear Lil Aug crying hard so I hung up the phone. I was gonna make my way over there. Help her out a bit.

.........

I knocked on Chanel's door loud enough in case of any noise. She came to the door looking frustrated. She had on one of my old t-shirts and some booty shorts.

Shit had me thinking dirty. "Hey" I smiled softly.

"Hi, um August. Right now's not the t-"

I ignored her and walked in. Thanks to Cam and Ava who were most likely playing around. Her house looked a mess. I chuckled and looked back at her. She stood by the door looking embarrassed.

"Nell go upstairs and go to sleep."

"I can't sleep August. Its nearly inevitable. Look at this place. I have to clean, make dinner, make new lyrics for tomorrow, and I have to cook for them and watch them. School ain't start yet August. Just reminded myself I gotta go supply shopping, clothes shopping and buy groceries. Oh my Goshhh
...."

She face palmed herself and even then with her frustrated she looked beautiful.

"Lemme help you with that Nell." She gave me a blank stare and shrugged.

Chanel grabbed Ava who had paint on her face because of Cam and washed her face off. She took her to the bath and bathed her.

Ava watched me with her big doe eyes. She looked just like Chanel but favored Chris entirely. As soon as Nell put a pamper on her she took off running.

"First off, imma call Chris so he could get his daughter." She looked up to me and shook her head.

"He's at the studio and I promised I would watch her for him."

"Okay, to grandma she goes. Same with the boys."

I laughed and called up Ms. Brown. "Hey Ms. B, could you watch the kiddos for me? Please.....Awesome thanks. See you in a little bit."

"Nell go get dressed." She rolled her eyes and trudged up the stairs for a quick shower.

She came back down in a black tank top, black leggings that made her ass look beautiful, and her toms. She grabbed her pink Nike hoodie and slipped it on so that we could go.

Ava was in her diapers running around so I grabbed her and put some clothes on her and handed her to Chanel

Little me was asleep in his carrier and Cam had on his pj's.

"Leggo" I grabbed Lil me carrier and Cam's hand.

I opened the car door and they all went in one by one. Ava stared at me with her doe eyes and smiled. I couldn't help but chuckle and wonder what it would be like to have a daughter. But that's a thought for another time.

Chanel looked up at me tiredly and waved her hand signaling me.that I'm driving.

We drove to mama Brown's house and dropped off the kids. Chanel looked so tired that I decided to go to my house instead. She needed sleep and even if j had to put her to sleep she was gonna sleep.

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