Demons

Chapter 3 - I Need You

Blake's pov:

The second I step inside the room, I recognize the feeling of walking into a vacuum. Robbie immediately excuses himself and heads out the door, but I hardly notice that as I keep my eyes on Kate sitting by the window. Her pain being my pain makes me feel the very same lump in my throat as she is. I feel the same hesitance in my stance as she does. For a moment, in the silence that occurs after Robbie takes off, I just watch her sit by the window-frame, so beautifully hit by the sunlight that appears through the curtains.

This void of silence between us is becoming more than I can handle. I can't handle it anymore. I need to be with her. I need to be able to talk to her, touch her and hold her in my arms because she's my other half. Without her, I don't function and it's become gradually more visible to everybody. I can't keep on sleeping alone in the bed while she's on the couch.

It's not supposed to be this way. Inside my chest, I feel that my breath is shaky. As much I don't really want to break the ice because I know it's going to hurt like hell, I need to do this, if not for me, then for her. We both need to start or else we're never gonna do this.

- Love...love, I can't keep doing this...

I let out as I feel it in my chest how hard it was just to say those few words. I try to take a deep breath as I look over at her, but she doesn't say anything. Despite of how much my words get to her, she keeps her head turned away from me. I decide to take a few steps further towards her.

- Listen, love, I know that you're hurting because so am I it...what makes this even worse is that we're doing this on our own...separately.

I try to go on. I hear her having trouble with her breaths. She leans back against the wall and slowly turns her face more and more towards me. I can see the tears on her face and I'm pretty sure that there's both tears and pain in mine.

- I know...I...

She barely manages to get out as I walk closer towards the window-frame, the opposite side to where she's sitting.

- I love you...Kate, I love you and I'm in the same pain as you're feeling. The fact that we don't talk is why it doesn't get any better...

I let out desperately as she tries to look down and away, but after a moment she surprises me by turning her eyes toward mine.

- I love you too, Blake...I...I just...I can't...

She lets out as she gets up on her feet, but I immediately follow her and hold around her from behind. Less than a second later, she turns around and leans in against my chest. She's slightly shaken up by my touch, but so am I. I can hardly remember what it felt like to hold around her as she puts her arms around my chest. I just hold on tightly for a moment because I don't even know when the next time is going to be.

- You might think that you can't, but here's the thing: you're not alone, okay? You're not on your own in this, you've got me. We both lost someone that night and neither one of us have been the same since. Love...I barely remembered what it's like to talk to you, to hold around you like this and...and to kiss you...I've missed it, so much.

My breath is having trouble keeping up. I just keep on holding around her, smell her hair and sense her hand on my shoulder blades holding on for dear life. After a while, she retracts, taking a few steps away and shaking her head.

- Here's the thing though: I am on my own. I am on my own because I-I'm the one that lost h-her. I couldn't protect her from dying, I...

I immediately walk over to her.

- Love, nobody could've prevented that. You're not at fault for her dying. It was nature's way, not yours. It hurts like hell, love, I know, but you're not to blame for it...