Demons

Chapter 16 - A Mother's Love

Blake's pov:
Take deep breaths, Blake, deep breaths. My wolf keeps telling me as I'm walking with quite a pace from the hospital-area back towards the office. There's just this build-up of raging emotions and I need to unleash it somewhere far away from anyone...especially my kids and my mate. I don't know what will happen when I get the privacy I'm after, but if anyone comes in my direct path, I might hurt him or her. Blake, you need to take deep breaths and try to keep your calm. My wolf goes on.

As I get to the door, I do take that deep breath that my wolf is hassling me about, before I grab the doorknob, almost twisting it clean off the door before I slam the door shut behind me. I can't describe what's going on inside of me but I can say it's rather a mix of anger, rage and pain. I can't hold this in for much longer. I'm leaning against the door as I hear the handle drop to the ground on the other side. I'm closing my eyes for a bit longer than a standard blink and I immediately wish that I didn't. Images from a distant, horrible past comes back to me and I can't hold it in.

"- You know better than to interfere, Olivia! When I deal with the boys, I deal with the boys. You stay away from it or else I'll come for you too! You go and cook me something doesn't kill me!"

I can't hold it in. I'm losing it. I'm completely losing it as I start tearing down stuff from the walls and everything standing on top of furniture like the bookshelf and the various tables that are in the room. My wolf is starting to lose it too and I turn into him, which only serves to make things even worse. Everything becomes a victim of my claws and teeth.

"She's putting the blanket on top of my wrecked body. Damian and I can hardly move because of what my father did to us this time.

- I'm sorry about this, sweethearts. You know how your father is when he's angry. I cannot stop him."

I remember all the times she did that. She tucked us in our beds, apologized after she had stood by and passively watched as our father tortured Damian and me until we could no longer move. The next day she would act as the heavenly mother bringing breakfast to our beds and sing us goodnight whenever our father was out of the house. It was her way of trying to make herself feeling better, but it didn't help us. The damage had already been done.

I turn back to my human-form after a while as I look around the office. My chest is still moving rapidly up and down as I'm trying to catch my breath. I'm still raging, my blood is boiling. I'm not done messing up the place. It's all torn to pieces by my wolf, but I still find it in me to throw stuff around and try to avoid the memories inside my head.

"- You want to take their place, Olivia? You want to step in front of them, be noble and take the whip instead of them? You were the one that made a mistake...I'll bet you want to deep down. It's just a shame that won't actually evaporate their future backs and chests filled with scars."

Even when my father would challenge her like that, right in front of Damian and me, she didn't budge a single millimeter to take the hits. When we took whips from him, it wasn't always because of a mistake either of us had made, but for something she had done that he found unacceptable. Yet she never stepped in front of us to do the noble thing. The fact that she learned and stepped in front of Ivy, doesn't fix what happened to Damian and me. Damian could've still been alive.

I run out of energy eventually and stop to look around me. The newfound mess around me just paints a picture of the mess I feel inside of me. I feel so exhausted that I can barely keep standing anymore. I sit down, my back to the bookshelf by the window as I look at my shirt. It's completely torn to pieces so I end up ripping it off of me, leaving me with my own reflection in the mirror that I didn't destroy. All of the images of the whipping comes back to me when I look at myself. If it hadn't been for that, I wouldn't have had these scars to remind me.