Before The Past

Ch. 34

There was at least half a foot of snow on the ground. The remaining snow falling from the sky was soft and feathery, letting the wind glide each flake gracefully. It was quiet, peaceful, everything had been covered in the white powder. It almost looked as though someone painted over a bad painting in hopes to start over, but the original paint lines are still there. 

The Malfoys and my family decided to take a trip together to one of the Black manors that belongs to Narcissa. Matteo was also invited, per request of me. Although at times I questioned why I even said anything, deep down I knew why. I felt bad. 

I felt bad that he didn't have anybody to celebrate with, and that he spent most nights alone. I felt bad that everyone else enjoyed their time around him and yet he stared confidently as if he wasn't in constant envy. Of course maybe he wasn't, maybe I was wrong. Perhaps he truly didn't feel anything towards the holidays or others enjoying themselves, but something had to brew within that cold, smug heart of his. Right? 

Although him and Draco didn't get along well, they were still content with each other. They chatted briefly and sat together when necessary. The death stares and side glares never truly went away, but they seemed to be at bay for the time being. On the other hand, when I was around it was a different story. Unless we were in a public area or at the dining table, they were never with me at the same time. 

I primarily spent my time with Matteo, since he didn't seem to gloat and pout nearly as much. One of the most significant differences between the two is one is a lot more grateful than the other. Regardless though, it seemed that no matter how much I did or didn't do, neither one was happy. They both seemed to almost want to hoard me away so the other could never see me again. 

Slowly I had grown tired of them both. We had already spent a week at the manor with nothing to do. Today, I decided to take a walk along a trail that the muggles had managed to carve out just outside the property. It was windy and went past a creek along with a small forest. The silence felt almost deafening, but it also made my mind clear. Focusing on the footsteps that others had made and making sure not to slip allowed for my thoughts to clear. Admiring the way that the water still ran under the sheets of ice and the way the trees were frosted over from the cold. 

After wandering to the end of the trail, I decided to stop and sit on a stump that had been protected by the trees. I wiped the small layer of snow that managed to find it's way onto the surface and sat down, watching the view. There were a few birds in the distance flying away contrasting the grey sky. The unfortunate thing about living here in England is that there aren't many clear sunny days. Although it was still common, it didn't happen nearly as much as it did in America. 

"All by yourself in the muggle world? What would your parents think of this?" I heard Matteo boast as he approached me. 

"Well up until now I haven't had a worry in the world, so it's not much of my concern." I remarked. 

"Such a shame, the world we live in today. A beautiful pureblood girl, lost interest in all expectations, crossing over to the other side." He said in a mysterious voice. 

"It is quite a world, a lonely boy prying on someone else's happiness. Jealous of what he sees around him." I continued. 

"No, no, you have the story wrong. This boy isn't jealous of what's around him, simply just of what's in front of him." 

"Oh, and is this boy aware that what's in front of him is blind to this feeling?" 

"Blind to his feelings or the feeling in general?" 

"A little bit of both I suppose." 

By now he had sat down on a small bench next to me. He rubbed his hands together to create warmth while also looking at me with an odd face.