Jay still hasn't shown so whilst I'm cleaning up I discreetly pull out my phone and message him. I don't want to come across as needy. I ask him if he's all good and put a few x's on it.
I am yearning for him.
I want his contact. Does he not feel the same anymore? He messages me back straight away. Apologising and saying he'll meet me at the car later. Odd. That's a conundrum, I want him now. Does he not want me now? We normal do not spend any time apart at all.
"Now good?" Matty says.
"Sure" I say heading down to my dorm. This isn't advisable. We should not be in my room together. We are still far too familiar with each other.
"Have you gone through your stuff yet" he asks as I open my door.
"No actually" I chuckle.
"Let's get started then" he replies smiling.
Being busy is a good idea. So I begin opening up the first box. Instantly emotion pulls me over and I cry. His shirt is still on the top like I knew it would be. And really it's just a shirt. But it's not to me, I wore it all the time. I was pregnant with his child when I wore it everyday.
"Hey no don't cry what's up ?" He asks instantly arms going around me.
"I just can't take any of it anymore. Like I can't look at this stuff that used to be ours. And this shirt reminds me of the baby and you and me. And it hurts okay." I say blabbering.
"I know I know" he says looking into my eyes stroking my face as he's holding my face in his hands.
"Why did you call me Matthew earlier" he asks after hugging me, arms wrapped around me. I need boundaries.
I pull back slightly confused.
"Because that's your name" I smile.
"Yeah" he smiles then returns to the box to sort out more clothes and put them away. I've left the shirt on the bed.
"I know that but only you call me that, and my mum" he laughs.
"I know I love your name" I sigh.
"So Aria" I comment.
"Yeah not my best plan. Didn't realise that was going to happen, we literally met at the party. It's not a thing." He says.
"I'm just putting it out there she's not the one" I say folding my clothes.
"No she's not is she" he sighs walks over to me. I get nervous instantly. Begging him not to test me.
"You are though" he says softly just inches from my face. He inches in slowly, increment at a time.
"No Matty" I say with little conviction.
"You really, really sure about that" he says softly his hand on my jaw.
"I don't think you understand what you meant to me, Tay. I would die for you still" he smiles.
I look down breaking our eye contact briefly.
"Okay" he steps back smiling again.
Grasps the shirt on the bed, folds it neatly and puts it on my pillow.
There's a soft knock at the door and my heart thuds. Ross swings the door slightly and comes in. Great now I've got two guys in my bedroom.
"All good ?" He sighs looking down at me and sitting on the bed. He leaves the door slightly open which I'm glad of.
"Yes" I smile at him and go and sit next to him. He glances over at me and rubs my arm.
"That ones a piece of work" he laughs meaning Aria.
"I know fucking hell" Matty laughs.
He sighs.
"We're just going through Tay's old stuff" Matty adds.
Another knock on the door. Hopefully it's Jay.
"Mothers meeting in here" he sighs coming in smiling at me. My body gravitates to him before I know it I'm up on my feet and his arms are around me. He's like a drug. I get a bit of him and I need more.
"We were sorting out my stuff" I say going over to the box.
"And discussing Matty's new girl" Ross digs.
"Oh fuck, get in there Matty" Jay laughs and I scoff at him.
"Alright that's enough both of you" Matty says laughing looking at both Ross and Jay.
We've almost unpacked everything, and I smile over at Matty for making me do it and helping me sort it out. He smiles back scraping his hair off of his face.
We all head out, I'm off to dance and the boys have lessons too.
Once Ross has gone off to English literature and Matty to art, myself and Jay head to dance. His plan was to use the gym whilst I'm dancing.
He pulls me into him, smiling as he walks.
"I missed you a fucking lot. I've got a surprise for you but I can't tell you till later" he smiles.
"Oh that's got me interested. I really missed you earlier. What were you up too" I pry.
"I was organising something for us" he says winking and swinging my arm in his.
He kisses me passionately before we head into the changing rooms and I don't want to leave him.
"Mmm I want you" he smiles.
"I want you too" I say blushing.
"Yeah you better get into the changing room before I take you you home right now" he says rubbing my back.
I smile. That's my man.
"See you after" I sigh.
"I love you" he says. He doesn't usually say that so casually and I pause smiling at him.
"I love you Jay" I tell him and he beams at me pushing his hair back.
YOU ARE READING
Desire me - the third novel ****editing
Romance"I'm a bad girl. He is gazing at me in his car, I imagine our relationship and it flashes before me through my mind. He's drop dead gorgeous, and how I can even manage to stop touching him is truly remarkable. He's handsome in a true and honest way...
