Desire me - the third novel ****editing

Chapter 92- got a book to write

"I did order something for the party, yes" I smile at Rach, we're in the lunch room with Ross and Matty. Jay is at practice, which is a new development. Nate convinced him to join the team and of course he's big enough and bulky enough to get in. So it now looks as though I will be visiting the sports track more often. Not too bad if you ask me, the prospect of seeing your man geared up and running around a pitch actually seems quite appealing.

"Oh show me" she laughs.

I take my phone out and get up the picture I took whilst trying on my new outfit. It's maroon, a colour that's become my staple. It's short and strappy with a sweetheart neckline. It's perfect. And I'll be in heels.

"It's warm enough right?" I ask her half laughing.

"Gorgeous, who gives a fuck you look great in that" she smiles.

"Thanks Rach, what are you wearing" I ask.
I'm glad we became friends, that we saw through all of our differences and made sure we rose above the drama. Rach is still seeing Nate and we joked the other day that it's her longest relationship ever. They work well together.

"I'm wearing an orange mini dress" she laughs

"So it's edgy, it's different and I need your tan inspo to look good in it" she smiles

"I got you" I laugh and get out my phone to link her my best fake tan.

I turn and smile at Ross, who of course as always is by my side. I've decided that I need to be firm with him, it's important to me that he finds somebody who will make him happy and he cannot do that whilst holding onto me. I don't want to hurt him, but I want him to gradually accept that we are not going to be together.

"Right I've got to return my books" I say to them looking down at my huge bag of borrowed books.

"Snap" Ross sighs pushing at his blonde hair which has grown out a little. He's caught the sun too and has now taken to showing off his tattoo on his leg in any outfit. Today he's wearing jean shorts and a loose T-shirt.

I stand up attempt to lift my bag of books and fail miserably. I won't lie, I did get a lot of help from Jay carrying it to uni and around all day.
Ross laughs and picks it up in one swift movement. He has his books in another bag which he carries in his other hand.

"Thanks" I laugh.

We walk together to the library chatting about psychology and his English lectures. Once we get in he sets my books down at one of the self serve tills where I can start scanning them in. He lingers looking into my eyes, I look away. Cruel to be kind. I need to let go of him, it's fair. And it's the right thing to do. However much I want him, however much I want to keep him in my life. Looking at me in the way that he does and cherishing any moments we may have with one another, I have to let him move on from me.

He goes and puts his books through the system, he's far quicker than me. And he returns to my cashier laughing and helping me to finish off the job.

"I need to talk to you" he sighs as we're walking out.

"Sure" I tell him.

"Can I take you for a coffee?" He asks smiling.

Jay has around an hour more of practice and I agree. Coffee sounds good. Coffee means a chance to break away from our somewhat unofficial relationship that we've had for years.
A chance for us to come to an understanding. I text Jay to let him know and then we head to the coffee shop just over the other side of campus.

We order together and I tell him that I will be getting this one. He protests but as with everything that I want he gives into me.

We find a sofa upstairs and I sit with him. His arm instinctively goes around my shoulders and I turn to face him.