Having left Josh's fancy house, I realise it's kind of cold and dark and that I'm very much lost. I check my phone quickly and I've got missed calls from Jay.
I'm not even annoyed and I'm not surprised either. I'm just fed up of other women knowing more about the man I'm with than I do myself. I needed to just leave the conversation so I did and I'm turning my phone off because I don't want to have to explain all of this stupid stuff to him right now.
I've decided in my drunken state that walking is a great idea and it will help me clear my silly jealous brain. Then I can walk back in with my head held high and resume being Taylor, the love of Jays life.
At least it's not raining I tell myself and I start to laugh a little at myself for thinking about the weather.
"Taylor" I hear a males voice call. A voice that makes me want to cry. I am far to drunk and vulnerable right now for this.
"Tay stop" he says and I realise I'm still walking in the opposite direction.
"What do you want to gloat about the whole thing. About how Jay lied to me too? About how I'm an idiot, and I like guys that keep things from me" I say angry.
"I think I'm done with everybody. I'm done with everybody knowing more than me about everything and everyone" I say annoyed and I walk off.
He catches up to me and physically turns me to face him. I see his green eyes and how they are full of care and worry. His dark brunette hair and lightly tanned skin.
"Who was Nina" I ask Matty straight away
"I don't know Taylor, honestly I don't" he says and I believe him.
"I feel like a joke again" I say and a tear escapes my eyes
"I don't necessarily think that doing that is bad, or whatever, I just feel..." I exhale and start to cry.
He hugs me, rubbing my back with his hands. We stay like that for a while.
"Shhh" he says
"It's okay" he whispers
"Thanks Matty" I say as I put some distance between us again. I hold him at arms length.
"No problem" he says and he watches me carefully.
"Tay" I hear Jay approaching. Unbelievably Matty puts his hands up as if to say he didn't do anything.
"I'm sorry I love you. I didn't even think about it, any of that stuff from before. I didn't realise it would ever be a problem when I was like that, I didn't think I'd want to be with anybody Tay ever" Jay says eyeing me. He wipes my eyes and swears under his breath. I want his hands on me, I'm annoyed but I want him.
"No it's all good." I say quietly.
"Then why?" He asks looking at me crying.
"How can you not get it Jay?" Matthew says.
I see anger flare up in Jays eyes and I sigh and begin to walk away from them. I knew they would fight. Jay pulls me back lightly.
"Please I'm sorry" he says keeping himself together.
"I know I'm not good enough. I know that but I love you" he says.
"It's okay" I say and he looks at me oddly.
"You do not love her" Matty says and I curse him for being such an idiot and poking at an already angry bear.
"How can you not get it? She's told you everything, absolutely everything. She loves you completely and you're just you." Matty says.
"I swear to God Matthew not now" Jay says.
"I did tell you everything, but it's all good. We're fine don't worry about it" I say I have to calm him down
"She's literally scared of you Jay because you're a fucking monster" Matty says
"I'm not, I'm all good. Please don't hit" I begin and Matthew smirks. He's really winding him up.
"Don't worry Tay I've taken a lot of hits from him, it's all good" Matty says.
"Matty can't you just get a hint and fuck off. Okay she's not with you anymore. You're not needed here" he says
"No because I love her" Matty says
"I knew you would fuck it all up" he says to Jay and I think that's the breaking point for him.
He turns around and I pull back at his arm but I'm lost to him. He's so angry. He's seeing red.
"Jay baby" I say but he shakes me off.
"Jay" I repeat. He swings at Matty and connects with his jaw. Matty swings back at him and they're fighting. I'm so angry with both of them.
I see Ross approaching and I sigh. Joshua thankfully is behind him and I'm sure I see him eye me with a look of pure relief, relief that I'm okay.
The guys run over, Ross pulls at Matty and Joshua struggles but eventually gets Jay away. I call for an ambulance as everybody has been drinking and Ross and Matty are pretty bloody.
Why is it we always have to end up at the hospital? A tear escapes my eyes and I sigh. I can't solely blame Jay this time either, Matthew is just as culpable. The wild thing is that they are both looking at me with puppy dog eyes begging me to forgive them. I thank myself for grabbing my clutch bag when I stormed out earlier. I turn to Ross and thank him.
Me and my three boyfriends indeed.
"Taylor, what happened babe" Josh says casually to me he's let Jay go and is watching him conspicuously. Jay is coughing up blood and I'm worried. I'm watching him too.
"Isn't it obvious" I say crying. He looks at me shocked to see me getting emotional.
"I'm sorry" Matthew says.
Jay approaches me wiping blood off of his hands, and rolling up his sleeves. Wildly he reminds me of a savage, it's the blood. On his hands, over his face and even in his hair.
"It's my fault. I'm sorry." He says. I rest my head on his chest sobbing. I breathe him in and gradually calm down. He exhales, relief.
"I love you I'm here" he whispers
"I love you" I whisper.
The ambulance arrives and I wipe my eyes. The guys are assessed and seated in the ambulance together which makes me laugh. Just minutes ago they were fighting and now they are sitting down next to one another.
The ambulance pulls off and I shiver. I'm tired and the last thing I want to do is go to the hospital.
Ross puts his arms around me.
"I've had one drink. I drove. Come lets go" he says
"I'm going to text Jay, that I'm at home. Can you take me there? I'm not following him around hospitals anymore. There was literally no need for them to fight." I ask Ross.
"Of course" he says his face inches from mine.
"I'll drop him back when he's done" he says looking concerned.
I get my phone out and text. I'm angry. Every time something happens he hits somebody. I have to be able to react too things without him getting angry and taking it out on people with his fists.
I'll meet you at home. Ross is going to give you a lift.
Ross dips my chin up to him.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there" he says looking into my eyes
"Maybe if I had of got there sooner" he says.
I shhh him and stroke his face.
"Thank you" I tell him
"for being there." I say and he gets his keys out.
YOU ARE READING
Desire me - the third novel ****editing
Romance"I'm a bad girl. He is gazing at me in his car, I imagine our relationship and it flashes before me through my mind. He's drop dead gorgeous, and how I can even manage to stop touching him is truly remarkable. He's handsome in a true and honest way...
