Desire me - the third novel ****editing

Chapter 46- what are diamonds for?

~Past tense~

"Jay" I ask him slowly we're laying naked on the four poster bed. We have had the perfect evening, he's made it up to me twice. With his cooking, and all of his other skills and charm.
"This is going to be a curveball of a question" I warn him.

He's facing me and his eyes search mine. He looks apprehensive. I look down at his tattooed chest and stroke it.

"Remember a long time ago when Jen outed me in front of everybody at Ryan's fancy dress party" I begin.
Jen seeing me with Matty, fuelled by jealousy, dared Matty to tell me that our relationship at the time had been a bet between himself and the others. It had been painful that seemingly everybody knew. However I never knew if Jay knew about the bet or not.

"Did you know that it was a bet? Like I mean because you said something to me about not having everything I needed in Matty. And that you could give me everything" I explain.

Firstly he strokes my bare back, thats how I know he knew about the whole thing. His body language is telling me that he's trying to keep me calm.

"I, wow that's a throw back." He stammers.

I watch him in bed gauging his reaction.

"So I was obviously a different guy then too. I wasn't there when the whole thing happened. I was with..." he stops short.

"Somebody and I wasn't partying that night when Matty so stupidly gambled on getting with you. Jen was really jealous of you, obsessed even. I hadn't met you yet and she kept saying stuff about it to me. Like how you were with Matty but Ross wanted you and that they were arguing over you. So yes I did know before I had even met you" he says weakly.

"I thought who is this girl. I realised you must be really special. She went on about it all the time, in her head it was a bet. She's never known love herself and she's never seen Matty loving anybody. That ate her up. And I did come by to see Matty because I was curious, I just wanted to meet you. I wanted to see what you were like and why everybody was fighting. And when I saw you a lot changed for me Taylor. Not as much as now, but a lot considering I was a dick." He explains.

I laugh with him for a minute and then he sighs.

"I remember that night. The party. Taylor you looked out of everybody's league, sky high. I wanted you, I wanted to show you how much I was into you but the competition was just too big. I couldn't even get close to you, because you saw who I really was, an idiot. And I wanted to change so much to fit your ideals. But Jen wanted to hurt you. She told me that. She hadn't said she would expose his secret but I think she just got carried away. I did tell her to shut up if I can defend myself in anyway. I saw how hurt you were, and your speech about being only with one man made me realise that you weren't tough and heartless like everybody else. Instead you are strong and dignified" He says.

I breathe a little.
"So everybody literally everybody knew." I say.

"I should have said something in the kitchen, but I didn't think you would believe me. You didn't know me then Taylor. I was an unimaginable ass." He says.

"I'm sorry that happened" he tells me.

"More than sorry babe" he says holding onto me.

"It was the not knowing, the pretend life. Jay that's one of the things I respect so much about you, you don't pretend, or present a different side. You were always you, flawed but learning. And now you are perfect to me. In every single way. I've been your friend, I've hated you, I've lusted over you. And now I love you. Jay I love you more than I have loved anybody." I say looking into his beautiful eyes.

He watches my eyes and Jay, the man who has changed the most, with all the tattoos and piercings and the don't give a fuck attitude, cries. Cries in front of me. I'm so shocked. I cry back at him and we hold each other in bed.

"I could never imagine that this would happen for me. For us. I was beyond happy when you gave me a chance. And I committed myself to making that work. But I didn't think I would ever, ever hear those words. From you Taylor, the love of my life." He says crying a little.

"Don't tell me off" he laughs.
"But I bought you something" he grabs a box from his side of the bed.
"I was waiting for a moment, this is it" he smiles.

He hands me a small box and I open it.
"Jay." I sigh taking in the matching diamond necklace to my earrings.

He undoes it and puts it on me even though I'm naked.
"I love you, Taylor Elena Harris" he says stroking my hair back.

"I love you Jay Gilbert Scott. You are the most important thing to me in this world" I tell him kissing him and hugging him in bed.

"Diamonds suit you baby" he tells me.
He eyes me with my earrings and necklace on and he smiles.

"I know maybe you think it's a bit much but to me you have given me so much, so much love and life that I never knew before. You've become my eternity and if that's not what diamonds are for then I don't know what is. Taylor I want to be with you forever. I cannot imagine a life without you" he says smiling.

I kiss him and then gaze down at the diamond hanging from my neck. It's stunning, set in gold with a matching gold chain. It's a perfect size not too big that it feels bulky but just enough to be noticeably sparkly.

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you Jay" I tell him laying in his arms gazing into his piercing blue eyes.

"Me too" he smiles.

We stay there for the whole night. Just with each other, no phones and no distractions. I marvel at the person he is, underneath his brute personality. His softer side that he only ever has for me is undeniable.