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CHASE STARED OUT at the water for a long time. Thinking about the girl he loved so deeply, how she had left him so broken and alone.
When Kie looked at the boy he was frozen still. She wanted to reach out and touch him but she was afraid to disturb whatever state he was in. Seeing as the boy had just burned everything he had left of the only girl he ever loved. Kie wondered if this was really going to help him say goodbye, if this was really going to help him in any way. They sat there for awhile, Kie said nothing when she noticed the few tears slip from the boy's eyes, she said nothing when she saw his hands shaking, she gave him the space he needed. Though she knew, if he asked, she would be comforting him with a hug and kind words in a heartbeat. Kie hated seeing her friends feel so defeated.
Even as the sun began to set, casting golden rays of lights across all of Outer Banks, they sat in silence. Chase took a deep breath, closed his eyes then laid back in the sand. "There's no beaches, back in Pennsylvania that aren't on a lake. The closest ones are in New Jersey. Alanna loved the ocean, for her birthday Me and my mom surprised her with a trip. We drove five and half hours, and spent the day at Ocean Grove Beach. She didn't want to leave." He laughed lightly at the fond memory of the girl, how she pouted and said, "Five more minutes, I swear." Just about a dozen times, before he had to chase her down and carry her back to the car. "Fuck, I miss her."
Kie sat for a second, hoping he would continue to speak, she enjoyed listening to him talk. "I can tell she meant the world to you. You know... Sometimes, Chase, those who seem the happiest on the outside are usually the ones fighting the hardest on the inside."
Another silent tear fell from the boy's eyes. "I should've known. I should've seen the fucking signs-"
"You can't do that. You can't blame yourself for this." Kie said, shaking her head, she looked down at the boy. "It wasn't your fault."
"You don't know that." He whispered, sitting back up, drying his face with his tank top. Chase grabbed his phone from his front pocket, checking the time. "It's getting kind of late, come on."
Kie didn't want to go, she wanted to sit and talk to Chase as long as she could, she wanted to get to know who he really was. Though she couldn't find the words to stop him as he stood, holding his hand out to help her up. Kie grabbed his hand and got to her feet. "Thank you, for everything today. I'm glad I could help, even if that means just sitting quietly with you." He smiled and Kie felt her cheeks heat up a bit, she wanted to see that smile more often.
"I should be thanking you." He stepped closer, placing a gentle kiss to the crown of her head. "Thank you. Come on, I'm drained. I'd like to go home and pass the fuck out." His eyes landed on the fire pit one last time, he nodded, he had done the right thing. They made it back to the car, Chase opened Kie's door and closed it. He yawned, running a hand through his hair before getting in on his side. He started the car and they made their way back home while the radio played softly. They said goodnight to each other and went into their homes.
Chase's home was dark, except for the light illuminating from the kitchen. He walked into the room, finding his mom and little brother sitting at the kitchen island, eating ice cream. "Oh, good. Sit down." Christine told her oldest son, getting up to grab another spoon. Chase did as he was told, leaning forward and resting his head on his hands. "Are you alright?" She asked, taking her seat again.
"I'm good." He said, though it was genuine, there was a pang of guilt in his chest, an awful feeling stirred in the pit of his stomach. The thoughts in the back of his mind creeping into play as he grew more tired. He lifted his head, taking the spoon he was given and scooped up a bit of ice cream. "You guys okay?"
The two others nodded. "What happened at the beach last night?" Christine suddenly asked, Chase looked up, eyes wide before he turned to Caleb.
He scowled. "You little rat!" Chase shoved at his brother.
"Hey! What the fuck? I didn't even-"
"You're a lying little-"
"Alright, enough!" Christine shouted. "I'm done with the constant arguing. Chase, the sheriff showed up at my door with a boy's mother, you hit him?"
Chase nodded, shoving his balled hands into his pockets. "Mom, I know I messed up, okay? If you had heard the stuff he was saying, about me... about Alanna... I just couldn't let it slide, Mom." He told the woman, looking down at his shoes.
Christine shook her head, moving over to he son to hug him. She held him tightly, hating that he felt so terrible all the time and she didn't know what to do about it. "I'm sorry, Chase. People are cruel, even if they don't know what's really going on inside, even if you're being cruel to yourself, they don't care until it happens to them. But I have always, always taught you to be kind no matter what."
"I know. Walk away next time, be the bigger person, I know... Mom, I'm really tired. I'm gonna go upstairs and get some sleep." He sighed deeply, shoving his hands in his pockets before rushing up the stairs. Chase stopped in his tracks at the office door, his fingers reached for the door knob hesitantly. He shook his head, pushing open the door. The room was empty, as he knew it would be. A deep sigh fell from his lips, he was exhausted, the empty room seemed to put a heavy weight on his shoulders. He made his way over to the desk, pulling open the top drawer, finding the orange translucent bottle full of his father's Xanax prescription. He opened the bottle and poured one little pill into his palm. "Fuck it." Chase muttered under his breath, tossing the pill into his mouth and swallowing it.
When he fell asleep that night, it was the first in a long time that wasn't plagued with nightmares of his love.
