Love In The Midst Of The Storm (Squad Series #1)

CHAPTER 25

Huh, oh oh

Whoa oh oh oh

It's always a good time

Whoa oh oh oh

It's always a good time

Woke up on the right side of the bed

What's up with this Prince song inside my head?

Hands up if you're down to get down tonight

'Cause it's always a good time

I keep on singing the lyrics of the song repeatedly while opening my walk in closet and began rummaging through my branded clothes hanging up and sat down to start putting some make up on my face preparing for school, I even woke up 5:40 am na once in a blue kolang gawin
I smiled facing the mirror when I already satisfied with my look

This is my first time waking up without a heavy entity inside my heart,waking up with a will to live
Unlike before, loosing my will to live,no longer find any motivation to survive,no desire for everything
Just moving with the flow of life

I stopped combing my long and curly hair to stare myself from the mirror and force myself to smile

I touched my face.
I felt sorry for myself,she looks tired and restless

Napatanong tuloy ako bigla sa sarili ko

Masaya bang maging ganito?Masaya bang maging miserable?

I silently noded and fixed my necktie.
Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional
In every thing, you have always a choice and I choose to be a coward--easily giving up than to continue fighting for an endless battle and let the pain and anger ruined me
I wonder what it feels like having such a peaceful heart, peaceful mind

I'll let myself happy for today, only for today

I'll never know what's waiting for me at the other side

I smiled bitterly.

I will let my guard down just for today, I wanted to know kung ano nga bang mundo ang makikita ko sa labas ng pader ko, I wanted to explore new things even it means letting other people get close to me and preventing myself from being invisible of pain and unafraid to feel any emotions aside from sadness and anger
I don't want to dwell on my past,maybe I deserve to live in a peaceful mind, in a peaceful life?
I'm still not fully healed but for the sake of healing I'll try to learn to let go of the things that made my heart feels heavy--to lessen the burden, the too much anger that I keep inside that stopping me from experiencing new things

For the first time after how many years of being a coward, I will let myself heal and feel the happiness again

Why would I carry the heavy baggage in my chest if it's better to put it away and take if off?

Huminga ako ng malalim.

It's now or never Yra!

I'll give myself permission to step back from everything that is making me feel anxious
I know is not easy to let go as I thought but at the end of the day, I'll surely heal from the trauma I've experienced from my past but right now?to be able to achieve those things I need to find the happier version of me

I immediately get my bag and storm out the room,the moment I opened the door, a cold morning breeze greeted me
Inilibot ko ang tingin ko sa paligid hanggamg sa matamaan ako ng kaunting sinag ng papasikat palang na araw