Little Dipper

Customer Service

"I. Have. A coupon!" The well-dressed woman said, waving around a slip of paper. "Give me my 25 percent off!"

"Ma'am, as I said before, this item is not included on the coupon. You'll have to get--" The cashier tried to say with an apologetic tone. The irate customer cut her off with a sharp tone.

"No, no! I have a coupon!" The woman slapped the paper onto the counter this time. "Give me my percentage off!"

"You have a brain too, but I don't see you using it! I don't know if you can tell time without looking at the watch on your wrist that you've been waving around, but you've been doing this for fifteen minutes and some of us have places to be." Bill said in a voice loud enough every other cashier's costumer could hear him. "Just accept the fact that the rules aren't going to bend to your tantrum and stop acting like a baby over it. I've seen babies more mature than you!"

The woman went red in the face in a mixture of embarrassment and anger. "How dare you, do you know who I--"

"Unless you're someone that's actually important to anyone but your self-entitled self, I don't wanna hear it." Bill waved his hand dismissively while Dipper giggled behind him and Mabel's jaw dropped in disbelief. "You're not a Northwest, you're not a Gleeful, and you actually don't look like anyone I've ever seen in this town so you might be from out of town and therefore unless you're the President of America your 'do you know who I am' is pointless and wasting another five minutes of my time. Finish your shopping and get lost before I kick you out without your precious purchases."

"And who are YOU supposed to be?" She demanded.

"Someone that is getting increasingly pissed off that you're talking to him and not finishing your shopping." Bill reached over and snatched up the paper, ripping it in half. "There, no more coupon. Get on with your day and act your age. You're, what, 40? I'm gonna say you're 48."

She blushed even redder. "I-I'm not--"

"Yeeeeah, you are. I can guess ages pretty damn well." Bill nodded. "Nice work on the makeup and plastic surgery, though. You'd fool anyone else."

She quickly turned away, paid for her purchases and rushed off with her bags without another word to Bill. "Ah, finally!" Bill moved forward and the cashier started scanning their items. "Talk about annoying, right?"

"I'm used to it." She sighed. "It's always the rich, self-entitled ones that give me the most trouble."

"Tourists." Bill shrugged and pulled out the money Stan had given him for groceries. "We get loads of them at the Mystery Shack, but my boss would never stand for them taking up more than two minutes of his time not buying anything."

"Oh, you work at the Shack?" The cashier asked. "I don't think I've seen you before. That'll be $25.60."

"I'm a family friend, from out of town." Bill handed over $26.00 and then held out his hand for the change when she offered it. "Sorry, I don't have any coins on me."

"That's alright. At least you didn't pay in a fifty." She shuddered. "Well, take care and good luck at work!"

"See ya." Bill waved and led the kids out of the store.

"Bill, you wouldn't actually kick that woman, would you?" Mabel asked as they made their way back to the Stanmobile.

"Hey, there you are! What happened, you get lost?" Stan asked, getting out of the car.

"No, we got stuck in line behind this bi—broad." Bill walked over to put the groceries in the trunk.

"What'd you do, kick her?" Stan grinned.