Little Dipper

New Mummies Daily

"Well, this is creepy." Pacifica commented.

"What is?" Candy asked.

"'New mummies daily'. How do they manage that? It must get expensive." Pacifica sat down on a bench next to her.

"This mountain is full of mysteries. Like 'why is my head falling on your shoulder'? Beeoo." Candy laid her head on Pacifica's shoulder.

Pacifica blushed. "C-Candy, this is too public a place!"

"I don't see any of your family or staff around." Candy said, smiling up at her.

"T-That's true..." Pacifica nodded, relaxing a bit.

"Girls, we've got a problem." Stan walked up with Dipper, Mabel and Grenda. "I can't find Soos and Crampelter isn't answering the radio I gave him. I think they're in trouble."

"Let's go to Widow's Peak!" Dipper said, throwing his hands in the air.

"And quickly." Pacifica said, looking at the webbing on the mummies as she and Candy got off the bench.

They hurried to the Sky Tram, Stan calling both Soos and Crampelter on their radios. "This is not good, not good...I don't have my gun, shoot."

Dipper frowned and placed a hand on his head. 'Bill, is there a way I can use your fire power from here?' He thought.

'We're connected, you should be able to. Just focus and think of flame. And be careful.'

"I will." Dipper nodded firmly.

"Will what?" Pacifica asked.

"I will set the spiders on fire!" Dipper grinned.

"You can do that?" Stan asked.

"Uh-huh, 'cause of my link with Bill." Dipper nodded.

"Cool!" Mabel hugged him. "But, uh, be careful with that stuff, okay?"

"I will!" Dipper smiled.

–

"Oh man...my head." Soos groaned, opening his eyes. "Whoa...where am I? It looks like a cave."

"Yeah, turns out Darlene and her co-workers are all monsters." Crampelter said from near him. "I saw one of the others dragging you in here before changing back to her human look."

"Oh. That makes sense. I was looking at this really cool spider-web and then I felt something hit me in the back of the head."

"Soos! Crampelter? Come in, one of you!"

"That's gonna be tough, with your arms tied up like that." Darlene commented as she came in with a few others like her, their lower halves all looking like spider bodies.

"And here we were worried that we wouldn't have enough mummies for the exhibit tomorrow." One of the others said with a chuckle. "Good thing you guys are so stupid!"

"Once we get that old guy, we'll be set. What do we do about the kids?" One of the others asked.

"We'll just eat 'em." Darlene said simply. "They'll make good mummies, too. We've never had child mummies before."

"Mm, a fresh new exhibit." Yet another licked her lips. Soos counted four in all, including Darlene.

"You tricked me! You said that you loved me!" Crampelter cried in disbelief.

"Hah! You men will fall for anything! 'You're so funny', 'great story', 'I love a guy with a big truck'!" Darlene laughed mockingly, approaching him.

"Y-You didn't...really like my truck?" Crampelter asked.

"Tell me Crampelter, before I transform, who did you think was in charge? You? With your cheesy lines and fake confidence? The only master pickup artists here are us, and you men – you humans, I should say – are nothing but meat." Darlene went back to her group. "Allow us to slip into something a little more horrifying."

To Soos and Crampelter's horror – okay, Soos wasn't as horrified, he'd seen the Shapeshifter change form before – all four women morphed into spiders before their eyes.

"Hmm, I wonder what kind of beverage would go with a vintage 79 year old man?" Darlene looked at the other spider-girls. "Watch them, I'll be right back." She scuttled off.

The girls laughed and surrounded the two. "Ohh, which should we eat first?" One asked.

"I think we should eat the pick-up artist first." Another said.

"But this one looks soooo tasty!" The third one poked at Soos' belly.

"You're not eating any of them!" Stan yelled, running in with the kids.

"Ohh, dinner on delivery!" One of them said gleefully.

"Come and get a mouthful, you'll find this meal's not gonna sit back and be eaten!" Mabel declared. "Hit it, Dipper!"

Dipper held out his hands. "ERIF!" He yelled as blue fire appeared in his hands. Then he volleyed the fireballs at the spiders, hitting one and making her screech in a horrifyingly high pitch that echoed in the cave.

"Lina!" One of the others cried, and then she scooped up her wounded sister before fleeing back into the cave.

"Who else wants some?!" Dipper asked, standing dramatically. Mabel and Grenda stood with him while the others went to rescue the captives.

"You're going to pay for that, you little brat!" One of the others hissed.

"Grenda, ready?" Mabel held up a large stick, Grenda doing the same. "Light us up, Dipper!"

Dipper nodded and touched the sticks. "Erif!"

"Gideon would be so proud." Mabel smiled at him fondly before turning on the remaining spider-woman with Grenda. "Let's end this!"

The spider-woman spit venom at them, but Mabel and Grenda dodged to the side while Dipper backed away. Then they jumped at the woman, brandishing the blue-fire torches. An echo of pained screeches filled the caves and then it was silent as the spider-woman curled up in agony.

"Is that all of them?" Mabel asked.

"What about those ones that ran away?" Stan asked.

"I don't think we have to worry about them. But, where is Darlene?" Crampelter asked, brushing the last of the webbing off his body.

"Dipper!" Pacifica cried, seeing a figure behind the small body.

Dipper turned just in time to be smacked to the side by one of Darlene's massive legs. "Agh!" He hit the floor hard and lay still.

"I...really hate wizards." Darlene said, moving towards the fallen child.

"Get away from him!" Stan ran over and punched at her. Darlene slammed a leg into him and knocked him to the side. "Ugh!"

"Stan!" Soos ran over to see if he was okay.

"You...shouldn't have done that." Dipper said with a cold tone, slowly pushing himself to his feet.

"Bill?" Mabel breathed.

Dipper stood up and wiped blood off his cheek, his eyes glowing golden-yellow. "No one gets away with harming my Pine Tree, you bitch."

"Uh, we are going to have a talk about that when I get home." Mabel said firmly.

"What's going on with you now?" Darlene frowned, stepping back a bit. "Something's...weird about you..."

"Everyone, just back away. Give Bill his space." Mabel said, ushering everyone into stepping back away from the two as Dipper approached Darlene menacingly. How Bill managed to make Dipper's small body look so menacing and intimidating, Mabel would never know.

Darlene lunged at him and Dipper snapped his fingers, fire erupting from the ground right below the space where Darlene was about to jump in. She let out a screech of pain as the fire hit her and rolled back, scrambling to put the fire out.

"Do you want some more? Huh? The kid's out cold! He can't stop me from burning you to a crisp, you good-for-nothing piece of shit!" Dipper stepped towards her, his body glowing bright yellow as he prepared another attack. "Just because I'm miles away, it doesn't mean I can't protect my boy!" He aimed his hands to fire at her again.

"Bill, no!" Mabel ran over and grabbed his shoulders. "Don't make Dipper a killer! She's had enough, look at her!"

Dipper's hand halted mid-throw and his glowing eyes narrowed. "...You're right. Damn, I'm as bad as Gideon."

"Okay, one, stop swearing. Two, what was that about Gideon?" Mabel asked.

"Nothing...just...get outta this place, Shooting Star. I used too much energy, you'll have to carry Pine Tree..." His eyes returned to normal and he started to fall forward. Mabel caught him and took one last look at the spider-women curled up in pain before she looked at the others. "Let's get out of here." She said, lifting Dipper into her arms.

"No questions here." Stan led the way out and they headed for the Sky Tram.

"One of them is still uninjured. What if she comes after us?" Candy asked, helping Pacifica onto the sky tram.

"We don't have to worry about that." Stan reached into his coat and pulled out a detonator as the sky tram went down the mountain. "Three...two...one..." He pushed the button and they heard explosions as smoke rose from the mountain. Then they ran as fast as they could to their vehicles as a rockslide began to fall from the mountain. "Get in the RV, get in the RV, get in the RV!"

"Wait, my truck!" Crampelter ran for it and started it up, speeding off before he'd even finished buckling his seat belt.

"Everyone in? Good! Step on it, Soos!" Stan shut the door and the RV sped off away from the collapsing mountain.

"Bye-bye, Mystery Mountain." Dipper said sleepily, having been woken up by all the commotion.

–

"Alright, so we should probably give Stanley a bit more training. The customers complained that he was taking too long to—Bill?" Gideon dropped the notepad he had and ran over to where Bill was lying on the floor, his image fading in and out. "Bill, wake up! Look at me!"

"What's happening to him?" Ford asked, coming in after hearing the commotion.

"Nngh...I used...too much energy..." Bill said, straining to open his eye. "Pine Tree was attacked...I had to do something...not sure I can hold out until they get back...damn..."

"Hold on." Gideon got up and found some chalk, leaving Bill with Ford and a worried Blendin. He drew Bill's circle with three circles on the outside of it and looked at Ford. "Bring him over here. It might not work as well, but we can at least keep him from fading out to just being in Dipper's mind."

"Right." Ford lifted Bill into his arms and carried him over. "What do you want us to do?"

"Stand in the circles. You too, Blendin. We'll use our mind power to restore him." Gideon gestured to the middle. "Lay him down there, on top of his image."

Ford gently lay Bill down and took his place in one of the circles, Gideon and Blendin doing the same. Then Gideon begin to chant, as Ford and Blendin focused on Bill's power that was surrounding them when the circle started to glow.

Bill lay still, breathing heavily, and at first it seemed like it wasn't working. Then, slowly, his body started to solidify again and he looked the same as usual. Finally, he sat up and looked at them. "...Thanks. It worked."

Gideon nodded and then stepped out of the circle. "Good. Don't do that again, okay?"

Bill shrugged and grinned. "No promises."

"Uh, guys?" Tyrone looked into the room. "We have visitors...and they don't look happy."

"Probably Stan's victims." Ford sighed.

Bill grinned. "Bring it on."