"'Oh no'?! 'Oh no'?!" Bill stood up. "For--Lee, why do you have this thing?! It should be in a museum! It's highly illegal!"
"Well..." Ford glanced to the side nervously. "I got it at an auction."
"An AUCTION?!" Bill held his head. "LEE!"
"Whoa, hold on! What does that symbol mean?" Stan asked, pointing to it.
The die started glowing and then something zapped out of it and hit the game box. To their shock and surprise, the group on the front came to life and grew life-size!
"No...way." Ford breathed.
"Who's that?" Dipper asked.
"Mortals of dimension 46*\!" The wizard started, his voice high enough to grate on Bill's sensttive ears. "Kneel before me and..." He rolled a pink die and threw it, looking at it closely before looking at them. "Snivel!"
"He had to roll for his next line?" Ford commented to Bill.
"I am Propabilitor, the greatest wizard in all Mathology!" The wizard declared. "Give or take an error of 0.4." He said off-handedly.
"Is this normal?" Stan asked Ford.
"Only if you use the Infinity Die." Bill said in a "we're all gonna die" sing-song tone.
"What do you want from us?" Dipper asked anxiously.
"By rolling me, you have proven to be the smartest players I've ever met! So I'm going to eat your brains!" The wizard laughed.
"Hold the phone there, fellow immortal." Bill stepped forward. "Hi, I'm Bill Cipher."
"I know you!" The wizard proclaimed.
"Yeeeah, you do! Anyways, it's not really fair play and against the code of the game to not put these mortals through a quest before you devour their brains." Bill said tactically. "Do you not agree? You have not fully tested their potential."
"Hm...this is true. Very well, I will devise a quest for you! Roll your characters!" The wizard declared dramatically, pink dice appearing in front of each of them.
"Wait, all of us have to?" Pacifica asked anxiously.
"Yep." Bill looked at Waddles. "Even the pig, I bet."
"Even! The! Pig!" Propabilitor said dramatically.
"Well, let's get rolling." Bill scooped up his dice and rolled. "Make sure you get some good stats, guys."
"Do you know how this works?" Ford asked Bill.
"Yep." Bill watched as a sheet appeared, magically taking note of each stat he rolled and the number. "Okay, I've got good stats. That's good. I'll go with...wizard class. Dark elf."
"I was going to be an elven wizard." Ford frowned.
"You can still be one, Sixer." Bill rolled his eye.
"Oh, I can be an elf!" Dipper said excitedly.
"Should we all be elves?" Mabel asked as she rolled hers.
"Just remember, once you decide, you can't take it back." Bill told them. "I'm surprised this is your first time dealing with him, Lee. Considering you've been out in the multiverse."
"When did you?" Ford asked.
"He visits the Nightmare Realm a lot." Bill shrugged. "We've played a few...entertaining games."
"Why are you different looking?" Propabilitor asked him.
"Because I wanted to. Are you going to question my whims?" Bill's eye flashed dangerously.
YOU ARE READING
Little Dipper
Fanfiction12 year old Mabel Pines takes her 7 year old younger brother Dipper with her to Gravity Falls to stay with their great uncle for the summer. She's starting to regret taking him along after he makes a not-so-imaginary friend.
