Little Dipper

An Explosive Solution

Bud parked next to Stan and got out with Ford. After giving collective deep deaths, they headed for their opponents. "Stanford, you're still here?" Bud greeted, extending a hand to him.

Stan shrugged and shook his hand. "I figured I'd see how you do. May the best candidate win, eh?"

"There's still the debate on Friday." Ford reminded Bud. "Don't mess this up."

"Hey, Lee. How was the Gleeful residence?" Bill greeted. "Was nice having the room to myself last night."

Stan looked at Bill with a concerned look and Bill gave a quick shake of the head.

"It was pleasant. Quiet." Ford replied. "But, enough small talk."

"Preston, you're sticking around?" Bud asked him.

"I'm waiting to watch you crash and burn." Preston said venomously.

"Preston, be civil." Bill told him. To Ford's surprise, Preston didn't argue the matter. How much sway did Bill have over how many people?

"Well, it's about time. I'm off to do my speech." Bud walked off to the stump, Ford hanging back to watch from the side.

"You know his son hates him, right?" Bill commented as Bud got out the speech and started to talk.

"Why does that matter?" Ford asked. "He seems nice enough to me, and who doesn't his son hate?"

"Uh, everyone but you, his dad, and Rico." Bill said, counting it off on his fingers. "He's actually a very loving and charming boy, if you haven't made him hate you. And you say Bud is a nice guy, but I bet if you had the ability to read minds you would think otherwise." Bill tapped the side of his own head.

"Be quiet, I'm trying to listen to him." Ford hissed.

"No need to be such a stubborn vishanka." Bill said, rolling his eye.

"I'm the vishanka? You're the most vishanka-like person I've met!" Ford hissed.

"Be quiet, I'm trying to listen to him." Bill retorted.

"What's a 'veeshahnka'?" Preston asked Stan quietly.

"I have no idea, they're speaking multiverse." Stan whispered back.

"It's similar to a donkey." Bill explained quietly. "Though it's big as an elephant and has the tail of a monkey. Very stubborn, hard to move."

"Sounds fun." Stan grinned.

"Are they already at the questions?" Ford realized, looking over.

"You ask me, the rest of our country is focusing on unnecessary things in schools. When are our kids actually going to be using calculus in the real world? And you know that a lot of schools have taken away home ec? I think our schools here are perfectly fine the way they are." Bud was saying.

"But, what about when people leave town?" A man asked. "Won't they be unprepared for the rest of the world?"

"If they aren't prepared for the rest of the world, then they shouldn't be leavin'." Bud said firmly. "You ask me, the rest of the world ain't prepared for us! I mean, the things we've seen? We live next-door to monsters! If our townsfolk can't handle the rest of the world after livin' near those, then something's wrong!"

"I'm talking about going to college or getting jobs in a field that requires that knowledge." The man explained.

"Let me ask you something. If we're more focused on teachin' kids stuff they will probably never use in the real world and ignore things like home ec and doing their taxes and other important stuff, then how will they manage when they leave home?" Bud asked. "I been out there and some kids out there don't even know how to wash dishes properly! They're buying unhealthy ready-to-eat food instead of making proper healthy food with proper ingredients, all 'cause they never learned to cook! Some kids can't even boil water! Home ec used to be required, and now it's removed entirely! I say we bring 'em back!"

"He's wasting time on this question." Bill commented.

"Hey, maybe if he fixates on this long enough he won't have to answer the apocalypse question." Stan shrugged.

"Okay, so that's your stance on education. Now, you mentioned monsters. Your son had a vision about a coming apocalypse, how would you handle that?" A woman asked.

"Oh no." Ford cringed.

"Get everyone out of town or deep underground and then wipe out the problem with a bomb. We can rebuild as long as we're alive." Bud said firmly. "What's important is making sure the problem is eradicated."

"A bomb?" Bill mouthed in disbelief as the crowd started to murmur.

"It's a thought. Hard to find one that'll be big enough, though. Maybe we could build it." Ford said, actually looking impressed by the idea. "It is a thought..."

"A bomb would do nothing against Pyronica." Bill said firmly, looking at Ford. "She would dance in the flames. They ALL would."

–

Mabel looked towards Tad's bedroom, where Gideon had gone to after his father's suggested solution to an apocalypse. "...You know, the sad thing is that some people might actually like his idea."

"Whatever works, they figure. He's right; as long as they're alive, they can rebuild. It's cowardly, but effective." Tad sighed heavily. "But it's a clear sign of his character that his first thought was to bomb the place."

"I'm going to check on Gideon." Dipper went over and knocked on the door. "Gideon?"

"I'm alright, Dipper. I just...need a moment." Gideon said from inside.

"Do you need to scream? You can scream." Dipper suggested.

"I already did, thank you. Just, for him to suggest that...a bomb...he's a true American Man, for sure. Got an invasion problem? Drop a bomb!" Dipper heard something soft being punched.

"Can I come in?" Dipper asked. "I want to hug you."

There was silence and then the doorknob glowed as it turned and let him inside. Gideon was curled up on the bed, his hair pulled loose around his face and the pillows and blanket mussed up.

Dipper walked over and climbed on the bed, wrapping his arms around him. "It's okay, Gideon."

Gideon sighed and closed his eyes. "...I have to put a stop to this. This election is pointless. The attack could come any day and we're wasting time on arguing over who would be a competent leader."

"So, what are you going to do?" Dipper asked.

"I need a few supplies...and then I'm going to the debate on Friday." Gideon said firmly, opening his eyes with a glare to the wall.

–

"Well, that was an interesting speech!" The reporter said as Bud stepped off the stump. "It's certainly got people buzzing! Both candidates have every social media outlet blowing up with reactions to the speech! I think everyone is excited for the debate on Friday! This is Shandra Jeminez at the Wednesday Speech Stump. Back to you, John."

Bud walked over to Ford and shrugged. "How'd I do?"

"I was worried for a bit, but I think you did okay." Ford nodded.

"Honestly, I think your bomb solution freaked people out." Bill said flatly. "And you should ask your son how well he thinks a bomb will work. Oh wait, he's avoiding you."

"Let's go." Ford ushered Bud away.

"Let me tell you how well it would work. It wouldn't!" Bill called after them.

"Don't believe him, he's trying to deter you because he's secretly on their side." Ford said firmly as they got back to the car.

"Is he really?" Bud asked. "I never got that impression."