Little Dipper

An Old Aquaintance

"Mystery Mountain." Stan breathed in the foggy air deeply. "Beautiful...but deadly to my business. And her pranks are horrible."

"What kind of pranks?" Mabel asked.

"Uh, honestly? Spider-webs everywhere. Freakin' creepy. I'm pretty sure they're fake, but...this IS the place with the legend of the man-eating spider-people."

"If they really do exist, maybe Quentin Trembly wasn't so insane after all." Pacifica said, looking around nervously. "There's certainly a lot of spider webs around here..."

"Everything up to now has been a walk in the park compared to this place. It's five times the size of the Mystery Shack and has some really impressive attractions compared to us."

Candy opened a pamphlet. "Oh, look at this! It has a sky tram named 'Trambience' and a mummy museum! And here's the information about the legend!" She turned it around so they could see it.

"Wow, they really know how to freak people out." Grenda said, reading over it. "'Spiders of Oregon. Arachnimorphs! Super real!' Ohhh, look at this buff guy they've got in the Arachnimorph costume!"

Pacifica looked at the next part, her eyebrows furrowed in worry. "'They hide among us. It's a well-known fact that Arachnimorphs eat people. Tell-tale signs that a family member is a dangerous spider monster are sweaty palms, hairy body, ravenous appetite, likes crouching behind furniture'."

Mabel looked up from her phone. "Gideon says that's also a sign you have a werewolf in your family."

Stan laughed. "This stuff is great!"

Dipper looked at the next part and dramatically said "'Government'?!" as he pointed at the picture of a guy in a suit with a spider-head. "We should've brought Shifty. He'd love this!"

"Shifty's with the McGucket's." Stan shrugged.

"We'll bring a picture home." Dipper nodded firmly.

"Great, I'm sure Mr. McGucket will just love having a giant spider in his house." Pacifica cringed.

"What do you think, Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked, looking at him.

"Stan? Stan Pines, is that you?"

Stan looked over his shoulder and saw a large, blonde man stepping out of a truck parked near their RV. "Uh, what? Me?"

"You can't fool me, Stan." The man grinned and walked over to him. "Wow, you sure got old! Hah, but so did I."

Stan blinked and gasped. "Crampelter?!"

"Yeah!" The man ran his hand through his short hair. "I heard you dropped out of school, but you seem to be doing okay for yourself. Your kids?"

"Nah, these are my great-niece, great-nephew, and their friends." Stan gestured to them.

"Hi, there!" Dipper said with a big smile.

"Great-niece? Wait, who's their grandpa? Don't tell me it's your twin?" Crampelter asked.

"Nah, my older brother, Sherman. You remember him." Stan shrugged. "How time flies. I thought I'd hate you if we met again, but I'm...not. I guess I've just mellowed out. How have you been?"

"Eh, I've fallen in and out of relationships. Never really found the right girl, I guess." Crampelter shrugged. "I've gotten into construction, I own my own company!"

"That's great! I own the Mystery Shack in Gravity Falls. Business is booming, baby!" Stan threw his hands out to the sides. "I was having trouble keeping a love life too, but I found this awesome gal in Gravity Falls, she's beautiful and she bakes the best pies."

"Here's hoping I'll get that lucky." Crampelter nodded. "Why don't we hang out, since we're here together? Get caught up, go grab a drink."

"Ah, I gotta keep an eye on these kids. You can come with us, though." Stan looked over at Soos coming out of the RV. "Hey, Soos!"

"That's my name, yep." Soos waked over to them. "Sorry I took so long, dudes. I was hav8ing trouble--"

"We don't need to know." Pacifica said, making a face.

Stan laughed. "Anyways, this is Soos, he's working for me. Soos, this is one of my old classmates, Crampelter." He gestured between them.

"That's nice of you to bring your employee along." Crampelter remarked.

"Ah, he's practically family." Stan waved it off as Soos' eyes grew wide with joy. "Anyways, we're sort of here on company business, anyway. Maybe you can help. As I recall, you were really good at pranks."

"Pranks?" Crampelter asked. "I don't do that much lately, but sure. Sounds fun."

"Good. We're here to get back at this bi—uh, horrible woman that runs the place for pranking my Mystery Shack every year. As well as every tourist attraction on the way, because they're all jerks." Stan explained.

"Sounds fun." The larger man chuckled. "Still getting bullied, eh Stan?"

"Hey, I'm getting back at them for it. I just couldn't leave the place unprotected. I've partnered up with another attraction in Gravity Falls and he's making sure nothing happens to the place, along with my other employees, so this year I am making them pay for years of cleaning up their pranks." Stan crossed his arms over his chest and nodded firmly.

"Alright, I'm game. Where do we start?" Crampelter asked.

"Well, let's see." Stan looked around. "Ah. Hey, kids, I've got five bucks for whoever can tip the big, blue ox!"

"Yaaay!" The kids ran over, Pacifica trailing behind the group to watch.

"Hah, look at them go." Crampelter grinned.

"Here, take this radio so we can keep in contact." Stan handed him a black CB radio, then looked at the entrance. "Oh, crap. There she is." He nodded to the ticket stand, where a blonde woman was manning the stand.

"Who, that hot chick?" Crampelter asked, taking the radio and clipping it to his belt.

"Yeah. She runs the place. Uh...shoot, what was her name." Stan frowned.

"Don't sweat it, I'll go distract her for you." Crampelter walked over and leaned on the ticket stand. "Hey, could you help me?"

"Oh, sure. What do you need help with, handsome?" The woman asked.

"I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?" The man grinned at her.

"Oh, you are a riot!" She giggled. "So, what brings you here? We don't often get such handsome, single men around these parts."

"Well, Darlene," Crampelter glanced at the name-tag resting on her ample bosom, "I just wanted to see what this place was really like. Stories are nothing like experiencing the real thing, after all."

Stan crept off to get some bombs from the RV and discreetly put them into his jacket while she wasn't looking. The kids were hopping up and down on the tipped-over ox, but Darlene didn't seem to care or mind. One of the other girls working there offered to take their picture.

"You know, I'm going on a break. You wanna take the Sky Tram up to Widow's Peak?" Darlene asked, gesturing to it.

"Sounds great." Crampelter grinned and offered her his arm.

"Ohh, fancy!" Darlene took his arm and walked in with him.