Little Dipper

Melody

“Look, I may not know much about love or mating or whatever, but I know how to charm someone.” Bill said as they got in line for The Meat Palace, a little food stand. “I could give you a few tips. For one thing, you can't be completely honest. They like to be flattered, so even if they're butt-ugly, you gotta say something nice. And do not, ever, point out a blemish unless you're doing it as a compliment. For example, saying six fingers is a sign of greatness? That's gonna charm someone. Telling them they look a bit freaky for having an extra finger? Pbbbbbbt, relationship goes down the toilet.”

Soos nodded. “I guess you have a point there, dude.”

“Of course I do. Charm and wit is how I make my living. I make deals to get things I want. It's how I work. And you can't secure a deal unless you charm that person first. Or unless they're desperate.” Bill shrugged. “Even then, a bit of charm is required for them to agree to your terms.”

“Like haggling.” Gideon offered. “At flea markets, sometimes people charm the salesperson to try to get them to lower the price.”

“Charm and wit get you a long way. Something that you have to learn, but you can be taught.” Bill clapped his hand on Soos' shoulder. “It's not too late for you, my friend.”

“Sure, charm works at first, but if you're a real scumbag then charm doesn't do crap in the long-run.” Wendy huffed.

“This is true.” Mabel nodded.

“What's a flea market? A market for fleas?” Dipper asked.

“It's a market where people sell original works in stalls like this one, unlike a store.” Mabel explained. “I'll take you to one sometime.”

“Gravity Falls has some nice ones in the fall.” Gideon suggested. “The Farmer's Market around harvest season often has flea market stalls.”

“Why flea?” Dipper asked.

“Because...I don't know.” Mabel looked at Bill.

“I don't feel like checking. Look it up on your phone.” Bill rolled his eye.

“What good are you, then?” Mabel asked teasingly.

“Now, look here, you! I said that the manager is my brother, now give me my discount!” The man at the front of line said.

“I'm sorry, sir, but I have already told you that we don't give family discounts here.” The woman at the stand said.

“Oh, Cosmos, not one of these guys.” Bill groaned.

“Let's go, this is going to take forever.” One of the people in line in front of them said as they walked away.

Soos frowned and walked over to the man. “Hey, dude, why don't you just pay and go? She already said they don't do discounts.”

“Get lost, porky.” The man waved him off.

“'Porky'?” Bill raised an eyebrow. “Says the guy with just as much weight as Question Mark?”

“Shh, let him handle this.” Mabel said, placing her hand in front of Bill.

“It's not nice what you're doing, why don't you stop it?” Soos asked.

“Look, this is a family matter. Why don't you--”

“I don't see your family here right now.” Soos cut in, then quickly said. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. It's just, in most places they require your family member to actually be there for you to get the discount. Why don't youse just come back later?”

The man grumbled and griped a bit more before throwing money on the counter. “Fine! Just make me my food, bitch!”

Soos' fist swung out before he could even think about it and the guy was on the floor in the next moment, looking as stunned as Soos felt.