"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to shake my head at this." Bill sighed heavily.
"At what?" Love God asked. "Two hearts in love?"
"The PIG and the GOAT are FUCKING!" Bill gestured to what they were looking at.
"Beauty of nature." Love God nodded with a smile.
"No! Not nature! If nature wanted goats and pigs to fuck, they would fuck!" Bill turned to him. "WHY would you DO this?! What is WRONG with you?! Pigs fuck pigs, goats fuck goats! This is wrong!" Bill turned and walked away. "All wrong!"
Love God shrugged and followed him. "Well, hey, I just spurred on their budding romance. They decided to mate."
"You know, why don't you shut your mouth for the next...TEN MINUTES. It's no wonder Gideon went inside to get away from you, you're nauseating to listen to!" Bill put his hands over his ears.
"Now, friend, surely I can change your mind about all this? Isn't there someone you like? I could help you." Love God suggested.
"One, don't call me friend, I'm not your friend, we are not friends. Two, if I wanted to flirt with someone, I'd do it! I'm not in the dating game right now, so leave me alone!" Bill glared at him.
"Bill, be nicer to our guest!" Mabel came out holding a plate of cookies. "Have some cookies, Love God?"
Bill made a face and walked past her. "Don't feed him, he'll never leave!" He hissed as he went in.
"Your friend doesn't seem to like me." Love God remarked, taking a cookie.
"Yeah, he's really iffy about people messing with his love life." Mabel said, taking one off the plate and biting into it.
"So, girl, what's the gossip? Anyone getting hitched?" Love God asked, nudging her with a wink.
"Well, no one's getting married, but we have had so much development in the love department!" Mabel said cheerfully. "Stan's dating Susan, I'm dating Gideon, Waddles and Gompers are dating, we even have two A.I.s happily in love! It's all good in the—oh. Oh, right." She looked at her cookie. "We have a broken heart here."
"No! Who is it?" Love God asked.
"It's Robbie. He made a mistake, sided with someone bad and got influenced to do something horrible and now the girl of his dreams hates him!" Mabel sighed. "I just want him to be happy."
"Poor guy." Love God nodded.
"Gideon says he doesn't need romance, he needs time to heal, but what's a better healing salve than love?" Mabel asked.
"Gideon's a child, he doesn't understand how important love is." Love God shrugged it off. "You and I, though, we understand. What kind of gals does this Robbie guy like?"
"Well, his last girlfriend was a tough girl that took no nonsense." Mabel shrugged. "I don't really know his tastes, to be honest."
"No problem, no problem! Just let me talk to him, I'll figure out what he needs." Love God winked.
"You're going to help him?" Mabel asked.
"Sure! Point me to this kid, I'll help him find love at Woodstick!" Love God proclaimed.
Well....TECHNICALLY she didn't break her promise, since Love God had come up with it on his own? She was just making small talk. "Okay!" Mabel smiled. "I'll help you find him, so you can heal him with love!"
–
"No." Bill shook his head.
"Come on, everyone else is dressing up for it." Mabel coaxed.
YOU ARE READING
Little Dipper
Fanfiction12 year old Mabel Pines takes her 7 year old younger brother Dipper with her to Gravity Falls to stay with their great uncle for the summer. She's starting to regret taking him along after he makes a not-so-imaginary friend.
