The Grey- Noah Sebastian

twenty two

(A/N: Breaking the fourth wall for a massive trigger warning and a conversation: this chapter contains suicide and grief. If you or a loved one are dealing with suicidal ideations/contemplating plans of suicide, please get the help that you deserve. You have people in your life that love you and will help you, never think that you're alone. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel).

*Noah's POV*

I couldn't get her out of my mind, but I had to respect that she needed space away from me.

It's hard to decipher if there's anything I could have done different besides not move, and at this point, it's just not possible. I have to go for at least a while to get this album done, and I really hope she can grow to not resent me.

Until she's ready, I'm spending a lot less time on my phone. I can't handle seeing all the sad songs she's posting to her socials, knowing that I did that to her. I have never hated myself more.

I'm currently in LA, and today we're signing the lease for the house that our manager found for us to rent. I love it; it has plenty of space for all of us as well as a perfect studio for us to create anything we want. The neighbors aren't too close, but we went ahead and met them to warn them about potential noise control issues.

We went back into the house and I really started to envision everything; I really can see us thriving here.

"Hey guys! How are you liking the place?" Our manager started, entering the house.

"Oh my God, it's perfect! Thank you so much," I shook his hand as I said it.

"It's no problem, man. Hey, can you come to the office after this? We need to sort some things out legally since Vince left, like figuring out royalties and getting him out of future contracts," he said seriously.

"Of course man," I promised, turning my attention back to Jolly and Folio.

*Sutton's POV*

I rolled over and squeezed Pum for the hundredth time in a week. I needed to hear Noah's voice, even if I didn't want to hear his voice. I looked at the clock and it was 11 AM, and Jemma was crying to go outside. I mentally slapped myself, I never sleep this late! I need to push through this, since it was my call, but it hurts like hell.

I got up, brushed my teeth, and threw on some shoes to take Jemma outside. It's cold enough to warrant a jacket, so I know this walk is going to be quick. She's so picky about the conditions that she likes to exist in. Could you imagine her living out in the wild as God intended? Me either.

I got inside the apartment and hung up Jemma's leash. Today was my off day so I luckily don't have to be anywhere. I've thought about talking to my friends, and they've definitely reached out, but I haven't had the energy to talk at all.

I felt my phone vibrating and it was... Christopher calling me? I haven't talked to him in years. "Hello?" I answered nervously.

"Hey, uh—" I could tell that he was crying and trying really hard to pull himself together. Christopher is Olivia's older brother, and I used to be around him a lot; I have never seen or heard him cry.

"Christopher? What's wrong?" I was panicking now. I have no idea what's up, but it's definitely Olivia.

"I'm so sorry, but Olivia took her life," he finally said.

It was as though someone came through and shocked my brain; shock rolled through me, my vision alternating from lightness and darkness. I felt myself open my mouth to scream, and I could feel that I was, but the ringing in my ears was too loud to hear it. My legs gave out and I was on the floor; sound regained in my ears, and all I could hear was Jemma crying with me. Christopher was probably trying to get my attention, but my hearing was still selective. I did him a favor and hung up the phone, dragging myself to the couch so that I wasn't on the floor. But when I landed on the couch, the nausea hit and I made it to the bathroom before I threw everything in my system up.