The Grey- Noah Sebastian

twenty nine

*Sutton's POV*

The passage of time felt criminally long, but incredibly mundane in the same breath.

I spent a lot of time with Danielle and Dillon still. We danced around topics of Noah, but spent lots of days going to get coffee and breakfast.

I started therapy around Christmas, and swore off going to bars anymore. I was in full pursuit of healing myself without distractions. I started working out, painting more, and spending more time with friends. I was still in retail, but it got better with time.

Olivia's deathaversary came and went, and it's not a day I want to recount. It set me back some, but not as much as I expected.

Somehow, almost a whole year had passed. I feel like I have healed a lot regarding Noah, but there's part of me that still wonders about it sometimes. In August, they finally released their new album Finding God Before God Finds Me. I haven't listened to it, but Danielle and Nic are begging me to come to the show tonight in Norfolk. I agreed, as long as I didn't have to be side stage, which Danielle didn't mind.

I clocked out at 5:30, ready to go home and get ready for tonight, and I swore I saw him. It stopped me in my tracks, and I just stared at this person of similar stature, just unsure.

*Noah's POV*

I know I should really retire Vans at this point, but I'm stubborn and haven't. We were doing soundcheck when the sole of my shoe literally ripped off from the impact of me leaning against one of the risers. I stopped what I was doing in shock and met Nic's equally shocked face, us dying in laughter. It was such a weird feeling, but now I have to get more shoes. I did the rest of the soundcheck barefoot, throwing on my Birkenstocks on my way to go buy some new shoes before the show.

I drove over to the mall in Nic's car, thinking about the last time I was here. I still miss her in waves, and those are some tidal waves. It's okay until it's not. I was walking as fast I could in these shoes to Journeys to grab some new Vans, when I swore I saw her. It was her, but very different. Nic told me he had done quite a few tattoos on her in the past year, but her arms were full of tattoos now, her hair now purple, and she had her septum pierced. I wanted to stop so bad, but I knew I shouldn't.

I went into Journeys and secured some black classic Vans and some socks, me being in and out of the mall within 15 minutes time. It was 6 o'clock, so we had a couple of more hours until the set.

I went into the green room and tossed Nic his keys back. "That was fast," he said with a chuckle.

"Yet somehow not fast enough," I said under my breath. I honestly could run a marathon right now, fueled by the tension and curiosity of seeing her again. I spun my thumb ring, the same one I've worn for a year and a half, my mind spinning just as much.

*Sutton's POV*

I spent the car ride home screaming to Bring Me the Horizon, feeling like I was in the same position as I was two Thanksgivings ago. I honestly could bash my head into the steering wheel right now.

I got into my apartment, not even noticing that Danielle had been parked outside, making me jump out of my skin when she knocked so quickly after I got in. "Hey!" She mused, clearly excited for tonight, but meeting my eyes and sensing my panic. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I saw him and it..." felt like the world stopped. "How am I supposed to go tonight if I can't even handle just seeing him walk by?"

She hugged me tight. "Remember, you're doing this for Nic, not Noah," she reassured me. "Noah doesn't even know you'll be there, so he won't be looking for you."