The Grey- Noah Sebastian

eighteen

*Sutton's POV*

I finally get to see Noah today!

It's the Saturday before Thanksgiving, so my work is about to get absolutely insane next week. I wanted to make sure I got some time with him before Thanksgiving day, since we'll be at the Ruffilo's all day. 

I heard a knock on the door, and Jemma beat me to it, excited to see her best friend. I swung open the door and he honestly looked tired, but I was still so happy he's here. He came in and closed the door behind him, immediately pulling me close to him and kissing me like he was making up for lost time. When we pulled away, we just admired each other for a moment, happy to see each other in one piece. I could tell that there were things on his mind, and it made me nervous. 

We went to the couch and he sat to face me, which made me even more nervous. I could tell that there was a conversation that he didn't want to prolong. "Honey, what's going on?" I started.

He took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, trying not to cry. "There is a strong possibility that I need to move to LA," he began. He clearly didn't feel good about this decision, so I'm not mad at him. I'm more mad at the situation that we're being put in.

"What do you mean strong possibility?" I urged.

He took another deep breath and met my eyes, understanding that he couldn't fight the tears anymore. "Our manager is going to pay for us to move out there. Even just the two weeks there made us realized that this writing process was going to take. We only got two songs done in two weeks. As of now, I don't plan to move to LA forever, I want to be able to go back and forth, but I don't know how things are going to go for the band after this next tour cycle and next album."

"I mean, one thing you made clear from the start was how much the band means to you," I said, the tears finally escaping for me, too. "What do you want to do about us?" The floodgates really, really opened from here for both of us.

"I never want to lose you," he said through an involuntary sob. "I will never tap out of this relationship, but I will never fault you if it's more than you asked for. I actually talked to the guys and they're okay with it, but would you consider going with us?" This question took me by so much surprise that I forgot how to breathe for a moment.

"I mean--uh--" I had to gather my thoughts. "What would I do while you're touring? What about my animals? What about my friends?" He looked down at the floor, knowing I'm right. 

"What if you tried to transfer to a store out there?" he offered as a possibility. "Not that I'm saying you need to work and pay bills, because it'll be just fine if you don't want to, but just for you to have some sort of schedule while we're gone?" 

"I don't know, it still doesn't really solve the being without each other when you're touring problem," I answered honestly. "I'm not giving up on this, either. I just don't think I can drop everything to move to LA. I would love to plan times to visit and we can make a deal for me to go out there two weeks out of the year and you can come here two weeks out of the year, but I also have a feeling that things are about to get crazy for you guys." I wiped my tears with my t-shirt, trying to pull myself together. "I'm so fucking proud of you guys, I really am. You are all so deserving and talented and deserve everything good to come your way..." I trailed off; I made myself cry way harder by saying that, and he finally closed the gap to hug me to him, crying with me. We spent a long time just doing that, getting it out of our system, knowing that this is beginning to crack.

****

They aren't moving until the end of January. Noah and I made an agreement to enjoy as much time as we have with them in Virginia as possible and try to not brood on it.