Who's The One | (ABO) BTS Jin ✓

20. Vague Memories

Seokjin's P.O.V.

This day has been a futile tussle of conflicting thoughts. I can't even sleep without having a new question popping out of my mind from nowhere.

But of all of these weary thoughts, I can't help but dwell into Kookie's statement that he meant to mark me. Did he really want to?! Then why didn't he do it then?? He must've just said that, but those were just empty words.

I let out a sigh as I kicked my blanket off and get up from my bed.

To start with, it was the first time I saw Tae mad. He got so worked up when I seemed to hesitate about the Jeju trip. He's always been nice and a gentleman in front of everyone. I guess he just really lost it due to too much frustration earlier.

But it was true when I told Tae that I am not fully sure yet that I wanted to be marked by him. It came to me when I was discussing it with Soobin earlier - even before Kookie arrived to tell me about that night.

Therefore, I was really conflicted about going to Jeju with Tae, but I can't tell him that as he's been really excited about it and I didn't want to disappoint him.

I opened the fridge and took a pitcher of water - as I pour myself a glass of water, I can clearly remember the look on Tae's face when he heard that Kookie was claiming he's the father of my baby. Tae must've been very downhearted - he was really excited for the baby.

But-- could it really be Kookie I was with that night?? He wouldn't lie about this just to make a loud fuss, right? And why is my bracelet with him?! He might really be telling the truth.

He was insisting that he left me a note. But I'm sure I looked around the room, the desks and the bed. I looked every area of the floor - there was nothing.

In the end, it'll only come as to whether who really cared for me. Because Tae was right - even if Kookie is the one, would he choose me and our child?!

But-- would it even be fair to Tae that I continue what we started even if he's not the real father of my child?

Though I said that I am not yet confident of him marking me- I still feel that I am slowly liking Tae's company. I love having him around. Maybe because of all the attention he's been giving me. He's been so good to me like no Alpha had ever been. Would I be too selfish if I still stay by his side?!

Unconsciously, tears are starting to form in the corner of my eyes again. I can't understand what I'm feeling. And moreover, I can't understand why this is happening to me. Why me?!! Have I really been a bad Omega that I am being punished?!

All I ever wanted was to be with the Alpha that I love. But when he ended everything, I did not desire for more but a peaceful and happy life with who's really destined for me. I tried my best living a good and honest life. But here I am.. being used, being fooled too many times. Why?! Just-- why me?!

I quickly wiped my tears, now streaming down my face- I am so confused right now, that I just want to sleep and wish for time to come back to that night where all of these began..

Arghhh! Why can't I remember a single fucking thing about that night?!! What is wrong with me?!!

I let out a deep breath-- I can't be this emotional while carrying a child. My baby shouldn't feel suffering because of me - it's not something I expected while having him or her.

I'm so sorry.. your appa is such a weak, naive Omega..

I wiped my tears dry again, and drank from my glass. But I coughed out a bit of the water when I suddenly choked on it - some dripped down my chin. Aishh-- so clumsy! I am hopeless, honestly..