𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗩𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 (ALLURING SERIES #4)

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

"Thank you for attending todays therapy session, Suzein." I heared my psychiatrist said.

I stared at her blankly when memories of the past clouded my mind again. Even though I'm always attending my therapy session I feel like nothing change. Gano'n parin ako simula nung nagumpisa ako. I feel like I'm stuck and I'm not moving forward. I don't know where's the point on attending these session anymore.

"Suzein..."

It's been already a year after we broke up. And, here I am... attending these session hoping it would help to heal my wounds. Kahit na... hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko ito gagawin. Naniniwala parin kasi ako... na kahit katiting man lang ay sana maging okay ako.

When he left me, I got depressed.

I got depressed to the point that I can already hurt myself physically. A day after we broke up doon na akong nagsimulang hindi kumain o uminom man lang ng tubig, sa kakaisip kung paano niya ako matatanggap ulit. I grounded myself in my room. Tinapon ko ang susi na tanging makakabukas lang nang pintuan ng kwarto ko. I did not call anyone. I did not ask for help. And, the worst... I tried to drown myself in my bathtub dahil sa sobrang bigat ng pinagdadaanan ko.

They broke the door of my room para lang makapasok when manang noticed I'm not answering her. Naabutan niya akong walang malay sa bathtub. They rushed me to the hospital that's why I survived. Dahil siguro sa pinagdadaanan ko hindi ko magawang maging thankful kung bakit nabuhay pa ako.

Tears started to pooled on my eyes. I came back to reality when someone held my hand. "Suzein, hey..."

I blink twice and quickly wipe my tears away. "Y-Yes?"

She sigh. "You're drinking your meds, right? It will help you to sleep peacefully."

I nodded. "I am."

Yumuko ako. She held my hand tightly. "It's been already a year and I know it's still hard for you to move on. I really want to help you. But, I can't do it... if you're not helping yourself. This is not good for you, both physically and mentally."

"I-I'm okay-"

"No, you are not. You're always keeping it by yourself. That's why we have this session to help you to recover and heal yourself but I want you to cooperate too. You can talk to me, tell me what are you feeling. Tell me when are you feeling down the most so we can talk and resolve it. I'm so concerned to you lalo na may balak ka pang pumasok sa showbiz. It will really affect your career. I'm telling you this because... I don't see any improvement yet."

Isang hikbi ang pinakawalan ko. "I-I'm sorry... I-It's just so hard..."

She stood up from seating at the sofa and went closer to hug me. Only my cries can be heard in the entire room. I held my heart, It's just so heavy...

"I know, I understand you. I know what's the feeling of being left by someone you truly love."

"I-I love him... so much." I sobbed.

"Shh... I know."

I went home after my therapy session. Si mommy ang nag-decided na ipatingin ako sa isang psychiatrist when she noticed I'm getting worst everyday. Hindi niya alam na siya ang isang dahilan kung bakit ako nagkakaganito.

Napabayaan ko ang sarili at pagaaral ko. My dad flew back here in the philippines when he heared about my condition. I never talk to my parents. I never talk to my friends. I don't want to talk to anyone. Kasi ang gusto ko lang makausap ay si Trivan. I want him to forgive me and take me away from here pero walang nangyayare. Kahit anino niya ay hindi ko nakikita. He's only appearing in my dreams kaya matagal akong magising.