What I wish I knew as a student...✐

21. Friendship🤝

Been a while since I've last updated anything. Yet here I am again with a common topic that involves your everyday life :D

I have encountered dozens of people. The good, the bad and the in-between. Now I'm not saying I have enough experience to categorize each type of person, but I have noticed few things that don't differ from one another.

So, why do we need friendship?

Though I keep my circle very small, to me friendship has made me grow as a person, widened my horizon, helped me remain emotionally stable and get entertained. (That's rich coming from an introvert who is mostly to be described as a loner. XD lmao) But there's more to that than we know.

Here are some psychological facts about friendship:

•Friendship is good for your health

Clearly, having someone to lean on and understand you, can help you cope with various obstacles in life.

• Having friends can make you seem more attractive

I don't know about that but I suppose it's just the natural charm someone reflects when they are circled with people. Makes them easy going, approachable and in a way socially accepting.

•Men and Women can't be friends

Now don't come at me xD I'm not saying you can't "CAN'T" when you clearly have a BFF from the opposite sex and have no relation to what I'm about to say. But truth to be told, one always falls for the other one. Yep, that's what happened to my own experience at least. A study proved that from 88 friend couples mostly men were attracted physically and sexually towards their female friends.

I can go on with psychological facts but here's a link where I got it from:

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/09/04/10-facts-about-friendship_n_5764448.html

I'll go straight to the point by giving you my own experience.

Friendship during high school years ( From the age 12-19):

This might not affect everyone but I have lost those people I once considered my closest ones.

I was never socially out going during the ages 12 to 16. I barely knew how to communicate and always pleased people. I was tossed around from circle to circle (From the Jocks, the goths, the gamers, the weirdos, the popular, the bitches, the nerds and the normies.) Only because it didn't bother me. I didn't have a particular friendship circle that enhanced I am one of them. I had friends who manipulated me by making me do deeds (such as do the school project, help them cheat, sneak out, involved to drama/fights and so on...) I'm not proud to admit those but I did it to fit in, only to find out how easy it is to replace me. I didn't want to be left out and did the most unexpected things. I'm not trying to say I'm innocent, sure I had my faults too. But I was trampled on more than I did to others.

Peer pressure if you wanna call it. Thinking about it now as a college student made me think: Wow, how sad.

What I'm trying to say is you should be careful who you let into your life and who you step on.

It's ironic how the tables turned for me. I made friends with people who hated me and became strangers to the ones who 'knew' me.

But now I got back to stage 1. Completely on my own as it should be. Being the loner who learned how to be socially selective.

Don't get me wrong, meeting new people can help you mature and give you good lessons, but allowing the wrong ones can ruin you.

I saw people who were close but drifted apart, people who bullied someone and ended up being their best friend.

Loyal friends are treasures that are rare to find. I have made and lost people along my teenage years journey.

Looking back after 5 years, I am now an adult. I have not made many friendship progression but I have decided to be more careful with this.

I want to learn from my past. Which is to find someone sincere who appreciates you, supports you in any way (studies, projects, dreams), similar goals and positive. Why? Because those people will stay longer in your life than you think. They influence the way others perceive you too and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.

Of course to find those you must become one of them. Stop looking in the wrong places. Focus on what you expect to be and meet.

And beware of fake people. They are kind at first once they got to you and manipulated you long enough.

I am always ready to help, listen to someone, support one and simply be open as a friend.