Deer in the headlights (Zak Bagans story)

The Tower

I wasn't going back home, I was going back to England. I knew I was going to be home sick as soon as I was to land, this was Déjà vu, a repeat of Italy. But I was also a strong believer that things happen for a reason - Zak and I might have fallen out and I would then be stuck with him until it was time to go. Who was I kidding? There's no such thing as being 'stuck with Zak Bagans' he's not a burden. I left him with a good memory, the two of us laying side by side, it would have been more than cruel to watch him beg me to stay so I left as early as I could. No note, no goodbye letter; goodbye seems so permanent, I didn't want that and I certainly wouldn't accept that we'd never see each other again. 05:08 am, the airport wasn't barren but it was occupied by people like me; on their own, oppressive at the thought of leaving. We looked like ghosts, haunted by the voice announcing flight cancellations over the intercom. I looked up at the boards - 22 minutes until my flight, in my mind I was testing how long it would take for me to call a taxi, tell Zak how much I loved him and hold onto him for as long as I could before my 22 minutes were up.

13 minutes left. My day dreaming was speeding things up, my foot tapped my bag with anticipation and anxiety, my stomach twisted and fluttered as the time shortened. 7 minutes now, just enough time to make a phone call. Zak was the only person in my mental phone book but calling him would be saying goodbye. I tapped his number into my phone without realising, just before I pressed the button to dial, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello my lovely girl, it's your mum" It had been so long since I'd heard her voice. My eyes started to sting, again. "Mum! How are you?"

"I'm doing fab. Your little boy has missed you!" then I remembered Leighton. I battled the tears and the crackly voice "Awww! I've missed him so much. Won't be long before I see him again. Thank you for taking care of him by the way"

"He's been no bother" she sniffed and laughed at herself for crying. "Flight number 796 will be landing shortly" The intercom announced.

"How long's your flight going to be?"

"Well my plane is here now mum, I've got another to catch after this so I'll speak to you as soon as I've landed in England. I love you" I hung up and braced myself. No turning back.

Zak -

"What do you mean she didn't leave a note?"

"She didn't leave a note, is what I mean!"

"Not even a text?"

"Billy, there's nothing!"

"Zak you need to call her or... or go find her at the airport or something!"

"But what if she's already gone?"

"And what if she hasn't? She's catching a second plane right?" He waited for a response "Zak?"

"I have time..." I thought about it, 'what is there to lose if I go now?' I hung up, grabbing my keys I raced out the door. "Zak what about-?"

"Not now, Jocelyn, I've got more important things going on!" The only thing I didn't consider was what I was going to do when I found her, say goodbye? Stop her from boarding the plane to England? Both of them would harm us in some way. I could only see a dismal result of my actions, either way. I was reluctant to let her go. I left my car in an aimless spot in the parking lot "Excuse me sir, you can't leave that-" A traffic warden started.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I'll be 5 minutes" Inside the airport it was teeming with holidaymakers, I just needed to speak to somebody. "Zak Bagans?!" I turned on the spot to find a group of girls returning from a bachelorette party, whipping out pens and notepads. "Not right now, girls, please" I left them there, stunned. In the far corner was a Help desk. "Excuse me, when was the last flight to New York?"