Before sunrise

Rejection is poison to the soul

Sunday October 23, 2022:

Esmee POV

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The second we walk through the front door, Killian kisses me on the head and walks towards his office.

He said that he has to work the entire afternoon, and that I should keep myself occupied. I was allowed to use everything in the house.

The change in his behavior makes me nervous and a little anxious. But I'm not going into it and dwell on it too much. Even though it feels like it's eating me up.

I sigh and decide to explore the house for a bit.

Turns out he also has a game room, with pool table and everything. I'm glad to see he has no PlayStation or something. Somehow, I find that a turn-off.

I walk back into the living room and scan the enormous bookcase. All these books are very old. My gut says they are first editions. Which is really cool. My nerd antenna is tingling. My eye falls on a certain book called Hamlet. It won't be, will it?

I look around if Killian is here. Somehow me standing here feels like I'm doing something wrong and can be caught in the act.

I grab the book and open it. Holi shit, it truly is. These are some doodles and notes about the play.

Killian does have everything.

I put it back when something else catches my eye. I grab the book and recognize the name, Sigmund Freud. I quickly open the book and see that I'm holding the diary of the Sigmund Freud!

This is the best day of my life! This is unbelievable!!!

I jump up and down and scream while hugging the book.

I do my happy dace while screaming once more. That's how happy I am.

I twirl around and while I'm spinning, I see Killian running into the room.

Immediately I stop what I'm doing and the smile leaves my face. Oeps, he caught me.

He walks closer with a frown on his face, 'What's wrong? Are you okey?'

I smile and hold the book in front of his eyes. He reads the title and looks at me with a questioning face.

I sigh out. Does he not know how special it is?

'You have the motherfucking diary of the Sigmund Freud. Sigmund Freud!' I practically scream.

'Yes.' He simply says.

I exhale in shock, 'Do you have any idea how extraordinarily special this is?'

'You probably will tell me.' He smirks.

I walk towards him, 'You have the diary of the Sigmund Freud. One of the first psychologist who made the connection between the conscious and the subconscious mind. The person who links every human behavior to fear and primal lust. That Sigmund Freud.'

He raises his eyebrow, 'I know who he is. I just had no idea you think he's that special...'

'Are you crazy,' I interrupt him jumping up and down again, 'He's insanely interesting. I have researched and read so much of his work. And now I literally hold his thoughts in my hand.' I sigh and let out a little scream, 'I mean he is a bit of a creepy guy. And I heard somewhere that one of his best friends was a pedophile. Explains some of his work on children and sex.'