Before sunrise

The witch over my body

Monday November 14, 2022:

Esmee POV

∞∞∞∞∞∞

I am pacing in my bedroom.

It is late in the evening, and I am losing my bloody mind.

My mother lays in bed. Completely ignorant of my situation.

I decided not to tell my parents. I will not have them worry about this new development. I choose Killian as my partner. Then I must deal with the hardships that comes with it. Even if that means having a panic attack alone in my room.

Thank the lord I no longer have a heavy period. That would make my mood so much worse.

I must have called Killian a thousand times, but he never answered. This truly has me worrying.

Why doesn't he answer?

Did they get to him? Is he dead? Is that why he doesn't respond to my calls?

My head is too full. And my worry is too big.

I try to call him one more time.

The phone keeps ringing and I pray to hear is his voice. He doesn't answer.

My eyes start to get blurry, as I bite my hand to stop the weeps coming from my mouth.

I lower myself to the ground and sit on my rug.

I am sitting alone in my room. Knowing that people are after me to kill me. And knowing that one of these days they will most likely accomplish that.

Not knowing if Killian is still alive. With no one to tell me what is going on.

And why nobody answers the bloody phone? Not even Dimitri.

For the first time in my life, I feel truly alone.

With lots of effort, I stand on my unstable legs and walk towards my bed.

I lie under the covers. Knowing I have to sleep. Not knowing if I will be able to.

I turn off the lights. Worrying if they are out there. Worrying if someone might break into my house. Deep down I am praying they will get to be before my family.

Without looking at the time on my alarm, I close my eyes, and fall in my hole of despair.

I always believed myself to be strong enough to handle this life. But only now I realize that the moths before this moment were roses and starlight. This is the true life. And now that I know that... I am not so sure if I am capable and strong enough to handle this world.

I feel weak. Weak, pathetic and a disappointment.

I feel weak, because I know that without Killian, I am not capable enough to survive on my own.

I am pathetic, because I lay in my bed crying.

And I am a disappointment because I believe myself to be weak and pathetic. And because I can't find this part of me that is filled with hope. That part that knows it will all be okey.

And with a head full of self-hatred and fear I fall in an exhausted sleep.

∞∞∞∞∞∞

Tuesday November 15, 2022:

Esmee POV

∞∞∞∞∞∞

I feel warmth covering my body.