Before sunrise

Man like me

Tuesday November 14, 2022:

Killian POV

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Esmee has been so tensed since she stepped into my car, so I needed to do something to relieve her of the pressure so to speak.

I do realize that the circumstances were far from ideal. Luckily the traffic was calm, and I was driving fast.

I would never let another person see my future wife in ecstasy.

Truth be told, I am quite stressed as well. I have been since the day I met Esmee. I haven't been slaking work. But it hasn't been my first priority ever since I looked into those brown eyes. It is as if my entire world just shifted. And it was so hard to adapt to that change.

My feelings are different.

My house feels different.

My work-life balance is different.

The relationship with my family is different.

I can say it is different for the better. But a change is still a change.

Never once did I ever think that it would take so much energy and stress for your whole world to change.

And it all changes because of her.

Sometimes it feels as if I am losing myself. The old self. Not that that person had something to brag about, or to be precisely proud about. But I was that person for so God damn long. And now I feel myself shift into this new person.

My world was my world. But now she is my world. Everything I do. Everything I accomplish. Every breath I breath and every walk that I walk. It is all for her.

People want to take my importance away from me. They want to kill the person that has become me. Because that is what she is. She is me.

I have never in my life felt as much fear as I felt the second I read the note.

The only thing I wanted to do at that moment is hold her in my arms, and never let go. The need I feel to chain her to my body, to make sure she is with me all the time is enormous.

But I have to trust my team as well.

Of course I got on the first plane as soon as possible.

Not only did I need to know if she was unharmed. I also just wanted to talk to her. Hear how she feels about the unfortunate situation. Somehow hearing her speak of matters as such calms me down. Her mind is always as clear as water. And I needed her calmness.

And when I looked in her eyes yesterday, after I made love to her, she needed my protection.

I realize I cannot predict the future, but I will do anything to keep her with me. I must admit the change she gets killed is always there. I just will not let it happen. That is why she must turn into a Lycan. It is an extra protection layer.

It may be selfish, trust me I realize. Because I only do it for my peace of mind. Because the thought of losing her and never seeing her again hurst so much, it makes me want to die. And if she were to turn into a Lycan, she would be more protected because she is stronger.

So yes, it is utterly selfish for me to ask her. Simply because I can't stand the thought of me losing her.

I hate to do it to her.