Cowboy Diaries - a Jon Bon Jovi fan fiction

22: I Want You

21. December 1991, New Jersey

Dorothea's POV

"And this is for a person who probably won't even watch it. If she has watched it until now, she will probably switch off her tv now and hate me. And I can't blame her. 

But still, I wanted to take this as an opportunity to say sorry Dorothea. I know I have been an asshole and things that happened can't be taken back now. But I also know that a life without you is useless, it's empty. I tried to live without you but I can't..." 

Well I tried to live without you too and it went pretty good by now actually, and now you decide to screw it all up by getting into my life again? 

I continued listening to Jon rambling and feeling sorry for me and for himself.

I really had respect that he was brave enough to let out all this cheesy stuff in front of his fans. Actually if it wouldn't be me he was talking about it could've been quite amusing. 

The only thing missing now was another cheesy love song he wrote. But what I couldn't explain to myself was that I actually wanted to hear it, I mean if he even had one, but it is Jon the romantic we're talking about here, of course he has.

Jon's POV

"And I know she will hate me. Hate me for saying everything that was only meant for her in front of an audience. She will be embarrassed and she will be embarrassed about me. 

She will wonder why I make such a fool out of myself. But I tell you one thing: 

I'm not afraid of saying that I love her, and I admit that I screwed up. Shall the whole world know. Shall they laugh. I don't care, cause I mean it. 

I'm tired of my life being a lie. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing the man I never wanted to become there.

I'm tired of being too heartbroken to even write a damn love song. 

I'm tired of not seeing her. How could I live without her beautiful smile greeting me every day? I had to bring this banner, because I want to show the whole world how beautiful you are, Dorothea, I mean it. And I can't stand to not see you, to not have you by my side. 

So this is just a lame substitution that can never substitute anything. I just wish that it would be you who was here with me, I just wish I could lay you down in a bed of roses, and that you would give me the chance to make me properly show my love to you again..."

Dorothea's POV

And with that, finally he was over with his whole presentation, an unfamiliar guitar melody began to kick in. What did I say about the love song? Here it was. 

Jon took a seat at a piano, which was also unfamiliar to me, because even though he knew how to play some basic chords, he always had been uncomfortable to play when other people were around. He had said that it wasn't good enough for anyone to hear it. 

But I loved it and always hoped that he would improve his skills someday, although it always had seemed that he was just giving up on this one. But now he was playing it beautifully and absolutely perfect. 

As much as I wanted to hate him and his cheesy new song, I couldn't help but secretly love it. As longer as they got on, the more I felt myself glued to the tv, the by now familiar chorus hitting my ear another time just before some kind of bridge and then an incredible Richie solo set it.