Cowboy Diaries - a Jon Bon Jovi fan fiction

33: Let's Make It Baby

29. April 1992, Paris, France

Jon's  POV

"Ready for another round?" I asked seductively. She just continued laying on the hotel bed with her arms stretched out over her head, trying to catch a breath and now laughing. Sweat ran all over her naked body, but that just made her all the more sexier. 

Well I for myself was definitely up for another round, as that was the best sex I may have had for years. But she just shook her head, grinning. "No, we have to save it for tomorrow, you wore me out." She let out a sigh of exhaustion. 

"Pleassssee." I kept on begging. 

But she didn't give in. "If you are a good boy maybe I'm up to it tomorrow right after waking up." 

"I'll take that as an appointment now. I'm ALWAYS a good boy, you know that." 

"Yeah yeah." She just said, I noticed she was really tired. 

I started to draw little patterns on her body while I adjusted the blanket for us. I knew she probably wanted to sleep but there was one thing I needed to ask her, I had put it off for soo long already but I would find no peace when I would wait for it another night. 

I just wanted to tell her now. Tonight seemed like the perfect occasion. Everything was just so peaceful. So far away from home and all of our problems.

"Hey, darling, still awake?" 

 "Mmh." She just mumbled. She didn't even move to look at me, that's how exhausted she was. Maybe I should really spare us this conversation for tomorrow. It was too important. 

"What's up?" She now asked, still being curious about what I had to say.

"Well maybe it's better to tell you tomorrow. It's pretty late already." 

"Wait. No. Now I want to hear it. You know I can not sleep until my curiousity is cured. You sound like it's something serious." 

"Well it most definitely is." 

"Oh god. Is there something with our family? Or are there news from Alec?!" The word serious must have alarmed her, all her tiredness seemed to vanish.

I rubbed her back to calm her. 

"Relax, baby. No, everything's alright....I was just thinking...well..." 

I didn't know how to put it. I had no idea how she would react.

Dorothea's  POV

"A baby?!"

Seriously that was the last thing I had expected this conversation would be about. I still was speechless. It seemed like my brain couldn't comprehend the situation right now. 

I didn't know if it was due to the fact that I was just fucking tired or that he just had asked me that out of the blue. 

What I would think about having a baby together. 

That it could be about time now because we wouldn't get any younger. 

That man just turned 30 for god's sake. As if we didn't have enough on our plates right now. How would a baby even fit in there?

Jon still looked at me expectantly. But I was not sure what reaction I should give him. Was I supposed to jump in the air out of joy now, because he decided it was time for a family? 

Or was I supposed to be mad at him for even bringing this up? I didn't know what to think. I just knew this was no conversation for a late night like that, after you just had sex and laid in bed all sweating and exhausted.

"But we always said we wanted a baby." Jon finally spoke up after he realized he wouldn't get a clear reaction out of me. 

I really had no nerve to discuss that now. But I knew it would end up like that or I wouldn't be able to sleep at all.

"And I never said I was against it. Just...not now. I mean have you even once thought this through?" 

That had sounded harsher than intended. I knew him too well to know he had probably worried about that for the last weeks. But still, even the thought of having a baby soon stressed me out. Our lives had been so turbulent within the last months and there was no slowing down in sight, especially with Jon getting back to work with Bon Jovi.

"Didn't you speak of doing a world tour next year? How would that even be supposed to work with a newborn? Nevermind me being pregnant first. 

You will be gone and out of trouble and I'll be here bringing my pregnant body to the doctor or spending the whole day in an empty house. 

And then spending my life basically as a single mom while you're gone for months. Or even better, bringing our freshly born kid on tour with us just that it's life gets messed up with the press and loud concerts and crazy musicians?"

"Who thinks about a tour just yet?" Jon was trying to calm me. "Nothing is written in stone yet."

"No? But fact is, after you brought out the album you will go touring. Album tour, album tour, that's all you have done for years. Don't make yourself any illusions. 

When considering it if not now? A baby is a long-term-decision, as dumb as that sounds. Once you got it, there is no turning back and then everything has to spin around it." 

"Well, then so be it. I don't need to do that. You know, touring and all that stuff. I have money enough. If you don't want me to...

All I want to have is a family. That's what I have realized in the last few years. I would let everything stand still if it's for the sake of our kid." 

"Don't be ridiculous. You love your job. I don't let you give that up so easily. I just am not ready for a child yet, ok?" 

This whole topic was really getting on my nerves. I did not want to think about it just yet. Even though I knew we couldn't put off a decision forever. But I always had had in mind that there was still so much time.

Of course there still was, but to an extend Jon was right. We were at the beginning of our 30s now, a lot of people we knew in our age already had been parents for years. And the wish for a family was definitely there. 

"Listen, Jon, I'm just too tired for this right now. I need some time to think. Let us clear this out another time." 

Without giving him the possibility to discuss my announcement I turned my back to him as I lay on the side in my sleeping position. 

Of course I couldn't sleep. I just lay there for minutes, if not for hours, staring in the dark and playing things trough in my mind. After a while my position became uncomfortable and I turned to face a now sleeping Jon. He was so cute just laying there in embryonal position, his blanket brought to his chin and his fringe falling in front of his closed eyes.

He looked so angelic. And suddenly I couldn't help but to imagine how our kids would be like. If they would get all their kindness and beauty from Jon or his beautiful blue eyes. Or if they would be a mix of Jon and me. 

I imagined our future child laying in the bed with us, in the same position Jon was in right now. Suddenly a strange feeling of emptiness or even sadness spread across my body. For no clear reason tears started to build up inside of my eyes. 

I turned around again because I did not want Jon to see me like that when he would be waking up in the morning.

I tried to leave my thoughts be and to actually sleep but it felt like an eternity until I really settled, even though I had been so tired before. I was prepared for the fact that I would probably have dreams or nightmares about children that night.

+

Jon and Dorothea becoming parents, wouldn't that  be cute?

Let's see how they decide.