Cowboy Diaries - a Jon Bon Jovi fan fiction

42: Don't Cry

27. October 1992, Kaufman Astoria NYC

Jon's  POV

We were in preparation for our actual show now in the Astoria, since the last hadn't turned out as expected. But this time everything seemed to go well. At least we had not been greeted with hundreds of fans as we entered the building this morning. Chances were high that it would be kept a secret until right before the beginning.

We already had done soundcheck and as it neared 4 p.m. we made our way into the room that would serve as our dressing room. I had brought mum and dad with me, and Dorothea of course. They haven't seen me play live for a long time, especially my parents don't really like big concerts, they think it's too loud and too stressful. But this event would be a pretty chill, intimate atmosphere, so it would be perfect for them.

I had brought several outfits with me, but in the end I decided for a basic blue jeans and some black buttoned tank-top. My dad had convinced me to let him style my hair. I hated it, I had thought short hair would be easier to handle but apparently I was wrong. I always had tons of products in it before I entered a stage. I just knew I would skip this when the tour starts, who's got the time and energy for that? 

But right now I sighed and let my dad do whatever he wanted. Since my mum handled the fan club, he often felt bad because he wanted to support me too in a way, and always was happy when he could do something, like cooking his delicious Italian pasta for the crew or like in this case styling our hair.

So I let him do and mentally prepared for the evening. I went through the set list, made myself clear on which parts I had to pay even higher attention than usual because they were hard to sing, and thought of short in-between speeches to get a connection to the audience.

Dorothea's  POV

I left the dressing room to find a more silent place. It was one of those days where I had those extreme mood swings again. I blamed it on the pregnancy, but still I was the one responsible for that. I did not want to bother anyone with my bad mood, especially not on such a day where they were all excited for the show. 

Only a short time ago I still had been happy, excited for todays's evening. I could not wait for Jon to sing again. Of course he did that at home too, but a concert was a whole different atmosphere. And I just knew how thrilled he always was to play, it was so cute how he got all excited and energized during that time. 

And it was really infectious, whenever he had a good time I was in a great mood too. But I knew today would be different. I just hated me for that because I wanted to support him best I could in the audience. I had looked forward to this day, to meet up with Jon's parents again or to spend more time with the band, apart from all that big pressure before an arena or stadium show. 

But right now I felt like I couldn't bring up the energy for that. I felt so tired but still mentally restless. I did not know what to do with myself today. Nothing seemed appealing to me, I just wanted to go home, lay myself down and sleep this mood away, having a new day to begin with.

I had reached the main hallway of the building as I noticed a woman that seemed slightly familiar to me. I didn't know where to put her, but as I heard her voice I remembered. 

"Excuse me please, but could you tell me where I can find Jon Bon Jovi?" 

She didn't seem to recognize me at fist either, what surprised me, because she knew my husband pretty well. I'm sure she inevitably had to know who I was too. For some reason anger started to build up in me, and I didn't know if it came because of my mood swings or from my insecurities.