Help me to love again (finished)

Chapter 26: « I will never let you go. »

Porsche

According to what I predicted, the boss let me go earlier. There was no one at the restaurant and it annoyed me but I'm very happy to be in my car, on the way to my apartment. It is 12:20 a.m. and no traffic is disrupted.

Pete and Vegas must have finished working and I wish one thing: that nothing happened in my absence. I breathe deeply trying to reassure myself as I usually do.

I hate losing control of what I have. I see Vegas as a threat when maybe he doesn't have one.

My problem... is that I'm afraid of being alone. So... I took someone, in this case Pete. I took advantage of his weakness to believe everything before his eyes to have him just for me. Scare him, threaten him so that he never leaves and that I can be sure to be surrounded by someone who takes care of me.

My fear of knowing me scares me very much. I don't show it but it's something I hold of the fact that the parents rejected me for what I was. I show my bad side to be respected and to dominate but... is it really me?

I remember before how I was with Pete, in the time when we were in a relationship. He never disrespected me or implied that one day he was going to leave me. I think he was sincere when he said he loved me but... neither does that, I don't believe it anymore.

My parents never loved me for what I was and why will it change with Pete? Nothing guaranteed me that he would stay with me.

My thoughts jostle in my head and I turn in my street. It's 12:30 when I park in front of my house. I look up at my window. The lights are off in the living room but not in the bedroom. Pete is still standing while Vegas must be sleeping. Very good... I will be able to relieve myself in Pete's ass before doing the same.

After all, it's never too late for sex and Pete won't refuse me that. After all... I accepted that Vegas spends the evening at my house. I deserve a reward...

I don't waste time going back to my apartment. The elevator is going fast and I'm at home myself sod a minute later.

From the time I open the door, I am taken in total darkness. Vegas is really sleeping...

I venture into the living room to distinguish the contours of a sleeping human mass. Vegas has his eyes closed and breathes deeply, like someone who doesn't pretend to sleep. I notice that he is wearing one of my t-shirts...

Pete gave him one of my clothes... I can't believe it, yet it's real. Very strange to see my enemy with something that is mine but hey... I'm not going to get angry about it. I wouldn't have tolerated Vegas being with Pete's clothes.

I'm going to join him now. It's the silence in the room yet lit. Pete is probably in the bathroom getting ready to go to bed. He's not waiting in bed so it's the only option I have left.

- Let's go to fuck him in the bathroom...

I undress quickly and enter the bathroom. Pete is naked, in front of the bathroom mirror. He is putting cream on the whip marks I left him and has a plan to make bandages.

Pete sees my reflection in the mirror and I approach him to take it from behind.

- Hi Pete.

I give him a kiss in the neck before looking at his reflection in the mirror. Pete forces a forced smile before answering:

- Hi Porsche. Are you doing well?

I approach my body to his gently while continuing to stare at him. My hands rest on his hips and Pete lowers his eyes on it. He looks at him and then blushes.

- I'm tired but I think I'll get better after spending a few minutes in you.

Pete gets stiff all of a sudden.