Help me to love again (finished)

Chapter 83 : «Now it's either you obey or you die.»

A few weeks later, December 20xx

Big

Every post-prison day is like a new dawn. This morning, like every other, I wake up with a feeling of deep gratitude to Dad and Time. Just the feeling of the fresh sheets on my bed, of dressing in clean clothes, of being able to walk unhindered makes me feel like a rich and lucky man. It's often when we lose something that we realize its value.

Through my hell in prison, I learned that freedom was the most precious thing. I'm almost delighted to see that I'm able to get back up after everything that happened to me. This experience, as bad as it was, allowed me to rediscover and reinvent myself.

To alleviate the harm I have suffered, I must leave the shadows of the past behind me, but without forgetting to take revenge. This is something that I consider essential. I won't be able to move on without destroying Pete, Vegas, Kim, and anyone else who gets in my way. But first of all, I need to get well. Physical recovery is a crucial step in being able to do what I want to do.

For your information, I am still in Mexico with Dad, Time, Arm and Pol. My two old friends don't get too close to me and I'm fine with that. They are interested in me to different degrees. Arm took it into his head to make amends with little attentions. He watches over me at night and follows almost all my training and rehabilitation sessions. It's my daily routine but I have no choice if I want to restore my body weakened by the months spent behind bars.

Every once in a while, I catch Arm making me food, my energy drinks, and preparing my medicine for when I need to take it. When pain and fatigue threaten to engulf me, Arm immediately puts himself at my disposal so that I pass this critical moment without any difficulty.

It took me a while to accept that he was approaching me but eventually, he managed to get past my defenses and soften me up a little. I am more conciliatory with him because I know that it was Pol who especially wanted to turn away from me. Arm didn't really want to, but he was afraid of ending up alone in prison and having to suffer the same fate as me.

I feel that Arm sincerely wants to redeem himself and it shows through every small victory, every improvement in my physical condition. I didn't want to admit it but Arm allowed my body to recover faster. He assisted the nurses every day, encouraging me each time I had to do exercises.

He contributed a lot to my physical but also mental recovery. There were nights when I woke up from nightmares and didn't sleep for nights, haunted by memories of my detention and moments of anxiety overwhelmed me.

Each time, he was there, to help me overcome these challenges every day...the complete opposite of Pol. Even though I know he wants to help too, I stop him because I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. I told Arm several times that he should cut ties with Pol but his response is always the same:

- But...he's my boyfriend...even if he didn't make the best choices, he's still someone I love...

Every time, it's the same thing. I keep answering him:

- Pol is too bad for you. He does not deserve you. Stay with me and leave him. You will be protected with me.

Arm knows that I have more power than Pol in the mafia and that scares him. He knows that I could hurt him, that's also why he sided with me and why he keeps moving further and further away from Pol, without realizing it.

Arm

Right now, everything is better. Since Big has returned, and even though he still holds grudges against me and Pol, I feel a deep satisfaction and quiet happiness. I tell myself that as time passes, things will get better. Although conflicts between Big and Pol can create friction and uncertainty, I choose to focus on the positive aspects of my life and the relationships that bring me comfort and joy.