Help me to love again (finished)

Chapter 2 : « returning to reality is often difficult »

Vegas

I am Vegas. I'm 18 and considered a genius. I am one of the richest families in Thailand. I could say I'm happy but I'm not. I am an only child. I have no brother, sister or mother. Just an abusive father.

Since I was three years old, my mother died of heart disease, I have suffered from my father's temper tantrums. He never had the ability to control his emotions and I'm in a good position to know that since I've suffered beatings and injuries for years. It hits me when desire takes it too. Yes, he is a little sadistic on the edges but hey... you don't choose your family.

To escape the shattering life I lead, I take refuge behind studies. Dad is proud of my results even though it gives him one less opportunity to hit me. He likes to tell his greatest collaborators that I will become a lawyer.

But I'm not going to do it to defend you in court, Dad. It is to leave far from Thailand and to practice in the United States. It's my dream to leave you and never see you again. I'm rich enough myself to afford to do it.

Right now I'm in bed. It's Monday and I don't want to get up. But I have no choice, this afternoon, I have an appointment at the university to finalize my registration. I asked dad to change in the middle of the beginning of the school year to be closer to home and he strongly agreed. Being a man of power, Dad had no trouble finding me a place at Bangkok Law University.

This afternoon, I have to be on time. I mustn't be late, but... getting back to reality is often difficult. I love spending my days in my bed. When I get out, I feel like I'm in danger, but when I'm there, I feel safe.

I open one eye, determined to get up once and for all. Dad shouldn't get mad. I mustn't bother him. He doesn't really like it when I'm late to my room.

I get up from my bed and grab my phone to check the time. It's past 1 p.m. My appointment is only at 3 p.m. I sigh as I grab my covers and throw them away from me. I usually sleep naked. I don't like clothes when I sleep, I feel compressed like never before. So it's naked that I go into my wardrobe to find something to wear. My bedroom is the coolest thing in the house. It's literally two large bedrooms. I have a bathroom, a mini kitchen and my huge double bed which I use both for sleeping and for working. I don't like working at a desk, forgive me...

I grabbed black corduroy jeans and a white shirt. I have already been given the compulsory university uniform. You can wear whatever jacket and shoes you want, but you have to wear black pants and a white shirt. The uniform system is not something that I really endorse but it is not me who makes the rules... too bad otherwise I would have changed some things...

I quickly go to the shower with my clothes and my phone. I put on music to relax while the hot water runs over my body. It's in the light of day that you can see my scars, my marks or even the few cigarette burns made by dad.

He selects places that no one can see so I can get out without even really hiding the atrocities he is committing.
I look at the whip marks he made recently on my right arm. The scar is closed but still clearly visible.

I sigh, suddenly tired. I hope that this new school will bring me something good. I can no longer wait for happiness.