soda popped heart ☆

a dream of your younger self

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tsukasa talked and hung out with rui the entire day, saki joining them every so often. the boy's didnt keep track of time, and it soon became pitch black outside. tsukasa realized how late it was around 11pm, and started to walk rui to the door. "are you sure you dont want a ride over to your house? it's really late." tsukasa worried, but rui shook his head passively.

"ill be okay tsutsu. no need to worry." rui hugged tsukasa tightly, and they stayed like that for a long time before rui let go and walked out. "i'll talk to you later." tsukasa watched as rui's shadow disappeared into the night, and closed the door after it fully disappeared. turning around to go back to his room, he was met with saki standing in front of him.

"saki? what..are you doing? wait, you have band practice tomorrow! go to sleep!" saki scoffed before handing tsukasa a bag. "what's this?" tsukasa raised his eyebrow, and looked inside to see bag stuffer.

"pull it out! rui gave that to me and told me to give it to you." tsukasa pulled the gift stuffing out carefully, incase he ruined something. reaching the bottom of the bag, he saw a note ontop of a thicker item. pulling the letter out, tsukasa read it curiously.

"lets see..'you seemed to like using it the first time, so here's one just for your comfort?' and a winky cat emoticon?!" tsukasa furrowed his eyebrows as he pulled the thick item out of the bag. "you've..gotta be kidding." it was rui's stage costume, specifically the coat. tsukasa blushed, and buried his head into the soft coat embarrassingly.

"aw, how cute! you should wear it tonight." saki watched as tsukasa shook his head violently. "i dont know how you didnt notice him carry that big bag inside, or how he kept it hidden from you up until he handed it over to me. maybe you were just extra sleepy today?"

tsukasa lifted his head out of the coat, face still red. "im tired now. goodnight saki, rest well!" letting out a lazy yawn, tsukasa put the coat into the bag and rushed upstairs.

"you're not trying to avoid the conversation are you?!" saki glared and stamped her foot.

"no, of course not! im actually tired saki! being around rui is fun nd all..but its really tiring." tsukasa was still in his pajamas, so he fell right into bed. "goodnight saki!" the blond boy closed his eyes, starting to drift into a dream

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a young tsukasa sat on his couch, and stared at his toy which he propped to face him. "mr. pegasus, how long do you think mom and dad will be away this time?" picking the plushie up, tsukasa turned so he could lay down on the couch and raised the pegasus over his chest. "even if i miss them, i have to stay strong! im a star after all. i'll just write another play to show mom and dad when they come back, and then me and saki can preform it once she comes back home!" tsukasa smiled weakly, and sat the pegasus beside him.

sitting up, the young blond looked at the floor. it was covered in pencils and paper. they were all scripts tsukasa had made for saki and his parents. "when were they home last..maybe a week ago? i hope they'll stay long enough this time to read all of these! oh, i'll ask for a recorder so i can read saki some of the scripts too!" tsukasa smiled, but it slowly turned into a frown. "they only stayed for a few minutes last week though. maybe i'll just let them take the scripts with them?"

tsukasa looked at the messy floor as he thought to himself. tsukasa let out a quavering sigh, and huddled into a ball. "if i do that, i'll end up causing a burden for them.." tsukasa's eyes started to well up, and digged his face into his knees to stop the tears. "maybe..if i just wasnt mom and dads  son, they wouldn't have to worry about me, and instead take care of the one really in need.." tsukasa muttered to himself as he began to wipe tears off his cheeks. "no..a future star like me cant show sadness! im fine." this reinforcement didnt help, and the young tsukasa just wiping his tears.

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tsukasa shot up in a cold sweat, and his heart beat quickly.  "why is my heart beating so fast..?- im fine." tsukasa felt his face, and ended up wiping tears. "..im crying? that dream was just a small event when i was younger..why would i get so upset and cry? im better than that!" tsukasa buried his face into his hands, sighing upsettingly. looking down, he realized he was under ruis coat. "..saki probably did this." looking to his right, he looked into his living room. it was completely dark, and quiet enough to hear the wind outside. "rui probably wouldn't be up right now..maybe ill just practice. but what time is it..?" the blond boy stared at his clock. 5:04am. "okay..i guess i could pass it off as getting up early."

tsukasa practiced up until the sun rose, and wasn't that proud with himself. "why am i so stumped on this? i can usually slip into my roles quickly, but what's stopping me now?!" he began to groan in frustration, and dropped his script, not caring where it will land. "i just need to practice more..thats the problem." tsukasa clenched his jaw as he stared out the window. "14 days..thats 2 weeks until we preform. i need to get this down!" tsukasa tried to reinforce himself, trying to smile. "im a star, this should be easy! i cant struggle..or else i wont be able to fulfill my dreams." tsukasa got up and began practicing, and soon heard shuffling coming from downstairs. it was now 7am.

tsukasa was becoming annoyed at himself, and so frustrated that he held back tears. "whats wrong with me? am i just not good enough for this?" tsukasa frowned, and dropped the script onto his desk before pouncing on his bed aggressively. digging his head into his pillow, the boy thought to himself. why did every other role go as planned, but this one specifically was what ruined it all? did something cause tsukasa to have a difficult time? tsukasa couldn't process everything going through his head.

"tsukasa? are you alright?" tsukasa pulled his head out to see saki peeking into her older brothers room. "you look pretty stressed, is something wrong?" saki came into the loft room, sitting on the edge of the bed. tsukasa didnt answer saki's question, and stuffed his head back into the pillow. "i think i know what you're feeling, so let me share something honami said," saki smiled, thinking about one of her bestfriends. "it's okay to not understand your part or how you should fit into the place you are. what matters is the end point, no longer how long it will take." saki held tsukasa's hand, and the older sibling squeezed it tightly. "you'll get it tsukasa. i believe it you."

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a/n
HAPPY VALENTINES U GOOFY GOOBERS!? unfortunately you guys dont get any ruikasa romancy wancy but instead get sibling bonding time (yayyyy) i hope u guys have a great valentine's :3